I'm Sorry

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I'm sorry.

(This post has been edited to shorten the message):

I'm sorry for all my evil thoughts and expressions of those.

I do not want to be an evil person, and I'm sorry if I've offended some.
I do not wish to be evil. But I do often get angry. I will try controlling my anger.

No, you don't sound evil. Part of what makes one evil is the ability to not dwell on guilt felt over their selfish or harmful thoughts and actions.

If the worst thing you've done is thinking of doing bad things you're lightyears ahead of most people.

You are quite human my WP brother. All is good.

Man, it's just internet posts. Don't get too hung up on it.

Sometimes just expressing rage and frustration helps.
That is half the value of psychologists and psychiatrists, I think; someone to listen to our anger and pain.
‘The Haven’ is a place where those with Aspergers or Autism listen to each other when we badly need someone to talk to, but someone who understands us.
Not everyone does.
We want to help if listening and responding online can help.
The kindness and understanding of other WP members has comforted me so much, over the years.
I hope that you can find caring friends here, too.

There's nothing to apologize for.

One should remember that not all Republicans are people who would die for Donald Trump.

And not all liberals believe in PC, "cancel culture," and "white privilege."

It's not all "black and white." The mistake people make these days is that there do not discern that there is often a gray area in peoples' beliefs. It's not either "one or the other." It's not that simple.

Some bad thoughts are what are known as "intrusive thoughts" to psychologist and are an extremely normal aspect of the human cognitive behaviour, although perhaps more obvious to those with anxiety disorders, as such intrusive thoughts can be more frequent.

In Buddhism, they call the intrusive thoughts simple mind chatter and part of the stream of consciousness we have.
The aim of Buddhist meditation is generally not to suppress such thoughts or feeling bad for having such thoughts,
but learning to allow the thoughts to arise and then disappear on their own without feeding them (by grabbing on to them and freaking out, which turns the unavoidable into a bigger problem which becomes impossible to deal with if you give them too much attention).

There are all sorts of types of meditation designed to help people let go or take less notice of such thoughts.
Some forms of meditation are very relaxing. I am presently taking daily walks (on the beach), which is very therapeutic.
Listening to the sea swish in and out, blocking out the human world is generally very calming, as well as some exercise.

Perhaps you could also find somewhere to walk. If so, one meditation technique to help clear the mind
is to count each step, counting up to ten, then starting all over again.
The object of this exercise is not to count as high as you can,
but to use the counting as a method to take your mind away from your disturbing thoughts.

If you are unable to walk, you can learn to count to ten by breathing in and out.
That can also work.

Use the counting to distract you from your disturbing thoughts, and remember thinking isn't the problem,
we all think and all some times have bad thoughts which appear to come from nowhere.

The problem starts when you dwell on the bad thoughts and allow them to become a regular feature, which then drives you to act on your thoughts.

Then it would be a problem.

Hope that helps. Please feel free to disagree with what I have written.
Although i have written the above with a genuine wish to help.
Cheers

I accept your apology.

How are you doing?
How are you feeling?

You don't have to be perfectly moral all the time. The important thing is that you don't act on those thoughts.