Alone by Edgar Allan Poe

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So I know Edgar Allan Poe wasn’t on the spectrum at all. It is speculated that he was bipolar and definitely suffered from alcohol and drug abuse.

But he’s always been one of my favorite poets. I have always felt a connection to his piece, “Alone”. I feel like it completely described what it’s been like (for me) living a life on the spectrum, and especially a life undiagnosed until recently.

I fell in love with this poem when I was in elementary school. But when I read it now from the perspective of Aspergers-I feel even closer to it.

Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were—I have not seen
As others saw—I could not bring
My passions from a common spring—
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow—I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone—
And all I lov'd—I lov'd alone—
Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—

Of course he was a great poet, and a great short-story writer, too. He had a unique style for his time.

He died, tragically, when he was only about 40 years old.

One doesn't have to be on the Spectrum in order to be lonely.

I like Poe, too.

It's funny, I think knowing things about artists' lives helps me appreciate them more deeply. I can appreciate their product as it affects me - and also as I think it applied to them.

Poe went to the US Military Academy at West Point. I believe he either quit, or was expelled.

My brief and surface level research says he was dismissed and was only there from July 1830 to February 1831.

“ Poe was court-martialed after he stopped going to class, parade, roll calls and chapel in January 1831. The following month, he was dismissed.”

He died at 40 yrs old and there is still a lot of mystery around his cause of death.

A tormented life of darkness.

I can relate. And his life that was void of light is absolutely a major reason I love his work so much.

I mean The Raven and the Tell-tale heart would not be the same if they were wrote by someone who was full of joy and happiness and had a great life.

I absolutely feel the sentiment in the poem.

This is my favorite reading of it.

https://youtu.be/SS_YShPMYdM

Finally going through the diagnostic process to be officially diagnosed as ASD and ADHD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. That testing was brutal and made me feel so bad.

And then looking back on my entire life through a different lens. It was almost like I didn’t even know who I was anymore or recognize myself.

And yes, all that I have loved in my life, I have loved alone. I’ve been the weird outcast girl who feels too much and has obscure interests. Ive never fit in.

I tend to get along the most with other tormented souls.

I felt the sentiment acutely when I was younger.

A little less now.

I don’t recall ever having read this before, I too can strongly relate.

funny guys

you can be anything, if you want to

but not autistic



(first pay your pharmaceutical.agrochemical robberbarons)

The “aloneness” aspect can be said to be the essence of Autism.