Why can't I just keep my big mouth shut?

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So because of all this COVID scare I've took a test but will get the results in a couple of days. Just to put my mind at rest, not because I have symptoms.

And you know what me, a stupid f*****g idiot, did? Told my supervisor. And he had a go at me. He said that if I had a COVID test I have to stay home until I'm confirmed negative.

Stupid, f*****g me. I didn't know it all has to be kept hush hush. I'd understand it if I had possible symptoms but I haven't. It was my choice for peace of mind. The COVID statistics has really got to me and to hear that some people at my own workplace were tested positive I just thought I'd get myself tested.

Nobody TOLD me that I had to stay off work until I get the results, unless you or anyone in your household has symptoms. I understand that. But to get tested, maybe frequently, to reassure myself that I don't have it, I didn't think those rules applied.

Now I feel like a complete and utter fool. Why do I keep giving everything away? What the f**k is the matter with me? Maybe I'll be better off getting COVID and dying then I can't spill these top secrets from my big mouth and make a fool of myself any more. I got angry with myself when my supervisor had a go at me, and he just called me a stupid little child for getting too emotional.

This was the second panic attack I've had at work in a week and do I feel stupid. My supervisor probably thinks I'm a right mental case.

Your supervisor should be a bit more supportive.

I really don't think your boss has it right. You should only be required to stay home if you have particular reason to think you've been exposed to the virus. E.g. you're having the test because you know you've been around someone who's caught it, or the contact tracers have got in touch. Not because you're just taking the test on the off-chance. Hell, in an ideal world we'd all be testing weekly- should that mean everyone being off work 4 days out of 5?!

Still, that's bosses for you. However wrong they may be, there's no bloody arguing with them. Could be he's leapt to conclusions and assumes you had the test for a specific reason. Could be he's just very confused about the whole thing but doesn't realise it.

Well like I said there were 2 or 3 cases of COVID at my workplace and one person is off sick but hasn't told anybody why, so it's understandable that I got a bit paranoid and thought I'd get tested. But nobody, not even Google, said that I have to stay home if I've decided to take a test for peace of mind.

Now I'm scared that the results might come back positive. Will I get in trouble? My dad took a test the other day because one of his colleague's family members had it and my dad thought he'd get himself tested just to be sure, but he still went to work.

I've just been looking on the NHS website and found this:-

But my supervisor acted like I was breaking the law and this is why I feel so bad. But nobody at work told me that I have to self-isolate if I decide to take a test. In fact I was advised to by a colleague when I was telling him that I was feeling worried because of the few cases we've had. He said "go and get tested anyway, it won't hurt to just get tested." So I did that.
The supervisor hasn't spoken to me since, probably because I overreacted and went into panic mode.

If your job is Monday through Friday, call your workplace management as early as possible Monday morning, explain the situation, and ask can you come in and work the rest of your shift, or can you come in starting Tuesday.

I'm not sure that will be the right thing to do or not. These days I don't know what is the right thing to do. It seems I always do or say the wrong thing. My supervisor told me not to tell anybody else at work that I have had a test until I have had the results.

I'm fed up with doing the wrong thing. From now on I'm going to say nothing to my supervisor and pretend I know nothing. But even that will probably be the wrong thing and I'll still end up making an idiot of myself.

I do wish I hadn't reacted the way I did though. But I just went into panic mode. The frustration, fear and uncertainty of this pandemic is really messing with my mental health, and COVID is always on my mind.
My emotions are on a rollercoaster right now. Before I went to work I was laughing my head off at something funny I was watching on the TV. Then the complete opposite as soon as I faced my supervisor at work: breaking down in a whirlwind of panic.

In general, people tend to take the tests if they feel they have symptoms in order to determine if they have it, rather than having one as a precautionary measure where there is no indication that you may have it, but simply wish to have the "peace of mind" that they don't.

Given the likely rarity of "precautionary" tests, it sounds like your manager may not understand that people would do this, and automatically assume that there was "some other reason" behind your decision to have a test, hence their concern\reaction, and wish that others there not hear about it.

Not sure, too, if there are rules\laws regarding staying home until results come back (although that should ideally be communicated by whoever\wherever the test was taken\supplied), which while designed around tests for those with symtoms would also apply to precautionary tests such as yours, hence the "don't ask, don't tell" preference your supervisor took towards your being tested.

If your workplace are aware of your ASD\anxiety issues, letting them know that it was solely for your own "peace of mind" as a result of the stress\anxiety triggered by what you are hearing on the news, etc. may help them understand why you had a test, though you would be best placed to decide if that is something they would be likely to understand, or whether it may (unfortunately) make things worse.

Well, I was advised to take a test from everyone I spoken to, including here on WP, so instead of making excuses I just did it. It seems that some people on WP think that it's easy to just get tested whenever you want.

Nobody knows about my ASD at work. I don't like people knowing about it, as I feel ashamed of it. But I can't hide the fact that I'm anxious, although it doesn't give away ASD.

I can be quite relaxed and happy when at home doing my hobbies or watching DVDs, but when I have to go out the door (like to work), reality hits me and I get easily triggered by anything to do with COVID.

And I don't see the point in counseling, because what can they do? My depression and anxiety here is rational, and the only cure for my mental health here is for the pandemic to go away. I'm also frustrated that I haven't/can't see my family for months and my mum has cancer.

I never said it was “easy” to get tested.

Sometimes, people have to wait hours in the cold for tests. Not all the time. I once had to wait 2 hours outside in windy and cold conditions. Other times, I just waited 15 minutes. The test itself is usually quick and painless.

All in all, for your own peace of mind, and the peace of mind of others, you should confirm that you are negative.

The worst thing for people with anxiety is uncertainty.

I respect what you are going through.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 31 Jan 2021, 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Definitely some flawed logic on their part, then. So, there's been cases at your job, but only the few people who can be bothered to take a test are considered to be a risk?! Logically it should be either everyone stays home, or no-one.

But, in her job, as many people as possible have to be working. She is an “essential worker.”

I'm sorry, it wasn't aimed at you personally. Next time I get a test I just won't say at work - unless I have symptoms of course, then I will obviously stay home.

I think that everyone at my work should have been told to get tested as soon as the cases were confirmed, being so we are all key workers. Or we should have at least been told that if we decide to take a test we must stay home until we get the results.

What if I am tested positive? Will I get a fine for going into work? I can't afford fines, as we barely have any money as it is. I can't help it if nobody told me that I should stay away if I've been tested. It's that stupid woman's fault for being off sick all week and not getting herself tested or informing us further information on why she's off sick.

At my library job, I was tested once a week mandatorily.

At my other job, if you are around a positive person for a short time, you must quarantine for 14 days.

I honestly don’t understand why you should have to stay home unless you have any symptoms or have had contact with someone who has tested positive, those are the guidelines I’m accustomed to. It makes perfect sense to me for someone who’s particularly nervous about the situation (and plenty of people, understandably, are) to get a test just to put their mind at ease.

As far as reporting numbers and quarantining go, it seems to me like it would be a good idea to separate those who have reason to think they might have COVID from those who are required to get the test anyway or are just putting their mind at ease (for example, I was required to have a negative test before I had surgery even though I had no symptoms or confirmed exposure, I couldn’t have the surgery until the results were back, but I saw no reason to quarantine myself in the meantime). The first group should act like they’re positive unless they get the results back and they’re negative, no real reason for the second to go beyond the usual safety precautions.

I’m getting a biopsy this Friday. I have to have a very recent negative test.

I do understand that COVID-19 is a serious matter but even so we still have to draw the line somewhere, and if everyone had to quarantine every time they get a test (but haven't got any symptoms or been exposed to anyone tested positive) then everyone would be having 2 or 3 days off work every 5 minutes.

My supervisor is aware of the confirmed cases we have had and are also aware of how stressed I am with COVID and that I live with a vulnerable person, so I don't agree that he should have blew his top at me like that. The first thing he yelled was "why didn't you tell me?" And I was like "um, well, I got it done yesterday on my day off and I'm telling you now. Nobody told me that I have to phone in and tell work that I'm taking a COVID test unless I had symptoms."

Idiot he is.