Was this 'moaning'?

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The other day at work I was scrolling through Facebook on my phone just before our shift was ending, and someone had posted a picture of a delicious meal on there that they were eating. I was in a positive mood and wasn't frowning or using a whiny tone of voice, I just smiled slightly and said, "aw, why do people post their dinners on Facebook, it makes me feel hungry." It's kind of a relatable remark to say and hardly complaining, but after a few seconds one of my workfriends looked at me and said "do you ever stop moaning??" I wasn't expecting anybody to say that, as I wasn't even moaning or intending to express any negativity, I was just speaking.

I haven't lost respect for the guy who said that to me, because I do like him as a work colleague and we get on great. But I don't usually moan at all when I'm around him, I usually laugh and joke with him. Do you think I was moaning? Or if it is a form of moaning, do you think it was enough to make someone tell me not to moan? I wish people wouldn't accuse me of moaning, because I used to moan a lot as a child and be blissfully unaware of it, but in the last 13 years or so I've educated myself on how to moan less to the point where I hardly moan at all now and if I do moan I at least know that I'm moaning.

I wouldn't call that moaning Jo but people can be a bit odd sometimes. I've been accused of being toxic when I've been joking. It can be a bit of a mine field sometimes.

Because you said you like to have a laugh with this colleague; do tou think he may have been joking with you?

Maybe it sounded funny in his head but it just didn't translate that way.

It can be taken as complaining, by saying the post is making you hungry.
Therefore taken as you being hungry.

Perhaps it's in the timing.
Why, was the situation at the time a bit more tense or something?
Light-hearted tones and expressions might be, but there's also being out of place while at it.


Unless the reply of you to stop moaning is actually a joke and ends up taken too seriously... This is also possible.

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That's not moaning by any stretch. It was just a comment. And for the record, I get hungry when I hear others talk about food too.

I get hungry when I see pizza ads on TV late at night, for instance they show the cheese stretching as you lift a slice from the pan. I guess it means I need a snack.

Sorry, this has nothing to do with moaning, and everything to do with prompted hunger.

You were just hungry....certainly not "moaning."

Maybe the work colleague was just kidding?

Was a tiny bit moany.

Not enough to comment on for an NT.

Does colleague maybe not like you?

I had someone unfriend me on facebook for daring to mention I split up with my bf.

I don't like facebook from what I've used of it. Too much drama cos you know the ppl on it irl.

And unlike Wattsapp, they're ppl I really don't want to be in touch with that much. Wattsapp is just my extended family.

I feel like she just wanted to eat what was in the picture. I can dig it....

Just say 'that looks yummy, wish I could have some through the screen ...'.

I agree with you Kraftie but NTs have all kinds of hidden meanings.

And in 'hidden meaning' language it looks judgy.

I don't think Joe was being judgy but I can see why an NT would think that.

NTs don't like being told what to post. I guess we all don't but NTs are almost anxious over it - and you know I don't use that word lightly.

It's just that I can see how that it can be.


Not because I'm an NT.

But because someone can explain certain mechanics to me -- that everything can be twisted that way.

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Well, you do post in here very frequently about things you hate and things you're worried about. I don't think of those things as moaning, a concept that's probably more British than American. (I associate moaning with sexual ecstasy, not wanting something to eat!) So those expressions of negative affect (negative moods) might form part of real world people's perception of you, if you do it as often there as you do in WP.

I'm not criticizing you, just offering an observation, which you're free to ignore.

Some people have a persistent negative bias in information processing, meaning they see all the negatives, the potential problems, but the good parts just whoosh over their heads. That's neither a good nor a bad thing on its own. But if people say you moan a lot, that's feedback that maybe your negative bias is greater than you were aware. For good mental health, people with a negative perceptual bias need to learn to appreciate things that are all around us, without totally ignoring the evident problems, of course. An example might be you exit the courtroom with your divorce decree in hand and worry how you will pay the gas bill without more alimony; but another person might exit and look up at the pretty clouds in a blue sky and say "Free! Free at last!" Same event, different perceptual takes on it.