Should I Just Try & Be Annoying...

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Since people mock me all the time anyway.

I have social anxiety disorder. I'm autistic. I'm short. I look a different gender. I look 17 years younger than my age, which at my age isn't a good thing yet.

Apart from the gender thing which I'm at a medical dead end with, I have tried everything to go against all that. And it just gave me the social anxiety disorder.

Trying to look/act a way that other people will respect.

Or just get basic respect out of strangers.

I'm wondering whether I should do the opposite. Since strangers will make fun of how I walk or laugh behind my back etc, maybe I should just think 'sod them'.

Not physically hurt anyone or mentally hurt anyone on purpose.

But do whatever the hell I like outside of that.

Be that person who is hated by conventional type people.

Speak my mind.

Risk being 'cancelled' by the left & the right. Not be in a set clique unless I want to be.

I mean surely at the end of the day it's my life.

And I'm finding that even if I try to please people, I can't. Even if I try to look like myself, I can't. So maybe I should just dress, speak, walk, exist and if other people like it great and if they don't, their loss.

I'm just so damn tired of being a perfectionist in all things.

Ugh.... I am sorry to hear that you are forced to be around people who mock you all the time.


In what general kind of place do you live? Urban, suburban, rural? Culturally homogeneous, vs. slightly multicultural with one dominant ethnic group, vs. highly multicultural with immigrants from all over the world and no dominant ethnic group?

My boyfriend and I have found that it's much easier to get "basic respect out of strangers" in a highly multi-cultural neighborhood than anywhere else.

If possible -- if and when you ever have any choice about where you live -- I would suggest that you try to find a highly multicultural neighborhood that also has an above-average population of visible LGBTQ+ people. Such neighborhoods tend to be expensive, alas. You might have to settle for a neighborhood that's highly multicultural and poor. Such a neighborhood can still be a much better place for autistic adults than a culturally homogeneous middle-class neighborhood.

In a highly multicultural neighborhood, it is taken for granted that everyone is different, so people are much less likely to make fun of you for failing to fit any particular norm.


Yes, I think that's a healthy attitude to have. It's pretty much how I've always chosen to live.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 04 Mar 2021, 2:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Idk this is a song I think about when I feel bad about my life. But like don't forget it is your life...not anyone else's.

I've gone from living/working somewhere which was a small village with no diversity and a lot of bigotry to a place where there's visible lgb people and some ethnic minorities and quite a few white people from abroad and generally 'quirky people' but also terfs and teenagers who will make fun of every single adult/lone teenager who crosses their path. I had someone in the local cafe rant about how trans people aren't real... All she did was see me & I'm younger than her so I can't put it down to 'bratty kid'.

All you have to do to be mocked by a bunch of teenagers is walk past where they hang out which is really needed by everyone to get to one of the shopping streets.

The two places where people are most arrogant/mocking strangers is:
1 a local cafe that doesn't feel like a proper cafe it feels like someone's living room. Everyone knows everyone and what orders they have. Everyone makes fun of each other. Everyone eavesdrops.
2 That bridge which I can at least put down to youth but when teenagers are yelling to each other and hanging out together not socially distanced it feels unsafe.

No. No. Noooo. Nope. No way. You can't annoy NTs! It will be almost illegal for an Aspie to do that! It's a bit like if NTs bully you, you don't bully them back otherwise it will hurt their little feelings. So NEVER annoy an NT. It isn't fair on them. You're on the spectrum so you should know better than to annoy NTs. NT people can't help it. They're NTs! They're allowed to be jerks.


That was sarcasm, by the way. I was merely expressing my frustration at how so many Aspies get lectured for giving NTs as good as they give us. But, KT67, TWO can play at that game. So whoever does annoy you, annoy them back! Why let them get away with it?

Don't go down to the idiot's level. Make sure you are above the fray. But not arrogant about it.

Life became better for me when I stopped trying to not annoy people, because it seemed that the harder I tried to be considerate of other people's feelings and concerned over what they were thinking of me, the worse my life was.

Ugh.

If they harass other people besides just you, perhaps it might be possible for several of you, together, to get the police to give these kids a good strong warning, and perhaps to patrol that area more often?

Harassment is a crime.

But before calling the police, look up the legalities of harassment in your area. For example, here if I'm not mistaken, you have to ask someone to leave you alone before anything they do can be considered harassment.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 04 Mar 2021, 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah that's actually it.

My headline/OP was kind of out of frustration.

But I'm so damn tired of trying to be something for everyone.

I never used to give a damn what others thought outside of morality.

I wish I could go back to that.

Now I even care about the covidiot who leaves stupid stickers everywhere. Esp cos they used to be about football & my favourite team. Now they're about how covid isn't real... Makes me feel guilty. I know that I've done everything to keep my family safe, I know that the virus is real but... what if I'm directly responsible for putting people out of jobs and giving them mental disorders...

I wish I could be unconventional & live by my own standards.

All the perfectionism I put onto others is cos I myself have that kind of perfectionism in me and how I am. I wish I could loosen up.

I feel the same way about people. Sometimes it isn’t even just cruelty I get from them. It’s like they’re literally trying to drag me down. Possibly so they can feel more powerful. I wish I could please everyone too. But the sad truth about life is there are always going to be people you just can’t please. The world is full of jerks. Not saying it’s okay for people to be jerks. But we need to toughen up because I don’t think the way people act towards each other (and people with autism) is going to change anytime soon.

I know it’s easier said than done to toughen up. Lately I’ve been feeling like, if people are trying to drag me down, I should just give up and let them. Then sometimes I think I should go the other way and be a “bad girl” by speaking my mind. By daring to be different.

I don't know if laughing at people and mocking how they walk by copying them is provable enough to be a juvenile crime?

I wish I knew who their parents were so I could grass them to someone other than a cop. They deserve to be in trouble but I think the level of paranoia I feel when they do has something more to do with my mental health than to do with logic.

They are being bad though & they're practically adults. If I had to guess at ages I'd say about 15-17.

Thing is if it escalates or not.

Every time someone walks past them they burst out laughing. Not just me.