Is 'Get a grip' or 'Get over it' unhelpful advice ?

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chris1989
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13 Apr 2021, 9:03 am

I get rather annoyed by these phases from some people towards someone having problems with anxiety especially during a pandemic when someone like me struggles to go about their everyday life to work and is refusing to do other things in their own leisure time because they are worried or scared of the virus.



kraftiekortie
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13 Apr 2021, 9:11 am

It's not especially helpful advice, that's for sure.

I sense, that in your situation, you're ambivalent.

In essence, you would like the freedom to go out and do stuff on your own----but you're not especially inclined towards going out.

The Pandemic takes away that freedom.



Fireblossom
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13 Apr 2021, 9:37 am

In some situations they can be very helpful, like a wake up call, and in some others they'll feel more like you're being looked down upon... I think that in the specific situation that you mentioned, these two phrases would be out of place and not helpful.



nadroJ
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13 Apr 2021, 9:51 am

There was a war between two tribes of monkeys in the 70's - the Gombe Chimpanzee War was a violent conflict between two communities of chimpanzees in Gombe Stream National Park in Tanzania lasting from 1974 to 1978.

So in hindsight - it is obviously completely normal for people to turn against each other and have conflicts, if our oldest ancestors did so.

But it can be unhelpful advice, if the person is requiring empathy and support. But it is not OK that the monkeys turned against each other - During the four-year conflict, all males of one of the community of chimpanzees were killed.

Okay maybe that was a bad analogy - but I mean - there's good and bad in everything - and that's all I can say really.


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chris1989
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13 Apr 2021, 10:19 am

It does my head in at times, when I've heard some people say ''we've been through wars and we just had to do our bit and get on with no matter if were scared or not.'' and that it is seen as pathetic and childish by some people who view others struggling mentally with a world crisis situation, and saying that soldiers during a world war weren't whimpering all the time and refusing to fight because they didn't want to or were scared of being killed unlike people today. They would also say ''crying never helped anyone, if you have a problem, face it like a man.'' and ''stand and face your fears'' and that is one I maybe do agree with.



kraftiekortie
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13 Apr 2021, 10:21 am

Chimpanzees are not monkeys----they're Great Apes.



KT67
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13 Apr 2021, 10:38 am

Not useful at all.

I'm scared about the Swiss cheese article I read.

That said no matter if we have the vaccine or not we have to keep wearing stupid masks cos the vaccine alone won't keep us safe.

I've been so cautious but I don't want to live my life forever having to choose between masks and staying outside/at home.


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BeaArthur
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13 Apr 2021, 12:41 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Chimpanzees are not monkeys----they're Great Apes.

Right - and neither are they our ancestors.


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nadroJ
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13 Apr 2021, 12:57 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Chimpanzees are not monkeys----they're Great Apes.

Right - and neither are they our ancestors.


I meant, they are one of the oldest species that we came from - our oldest ancestors in our family tree were apes.

And it was just an analogy. The idea is in contrast to quantum time - chimpanzees have gone to war with each other - so it is completely normal that humans can have conflicts, but it is not OK that people die.

Basically there's a thin line between entertainment and war and trading in your family history and family tree for a video player.


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