“I don’t like you!”

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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 104,869
Location: Canada in person, Germany in spirit

10 May 2021, 10:28 pm


Om Nom 2024



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Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 38,776

10 May 2021, 11:35 pm

My best female friend ever rang me one day out of the blue and said "I'm not going to be your friend anymore". Not only that, but she explained some things she was going to do in the future to hurt me and my daughter. It was surreal because I didn't know that friends break up with each other verbally or say "I'm done" with a friendship, the way that romantic partners would do.

I'm sharing the story to say that I've been there. This happened in 1998 and I still think about it a lot. I can dwell on it sometimes. 23 years later and I have to put it in perspective and realise that life goes on. People hurt us, and sometimes we hurt others. It's painful but the world keeps spinning and we have to let it go. Not everyone likes everyone, and we can never truly understand other people regardless of what they say.

Sorry that happened to you.


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Joined: 13 Sep 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,077

11 May 2021, 1:00 pm

Marknis wrote:
I still remember those words from my ex-friend the night she called me to tell me she didn’t like me anymore and our friendship was over. My heart still hurts from what she told me and I haven’t been able to make a better life for myself since she decided she no longer liked me.

I misread this post wrong, but I will tell you again that she's not for and she was not worthy of you or your time in the first place. Believe me, she has problems of her own. It also sounds like your life is better off without her because she didn't sound like a supportive friend to begin with.

On the other hand, I know how you feel because I had people suddenly drop out of my life who I came to know and trust only to have them let me down because they didn't like me. It hurts because you feel betrayed and you invested a lot of time and energy into that relationship.

For example, I was close with this other woman who I met an autism support group years ago. One week I was invited over to her home for Christmas dinner and gifts and the next week she wanted nothing more to do with me. Suddenly she turned very cold and said hurtful things to me. Believe me, I didn't handle that situation very well at all because I thought she was my friend. However, she was not a good friend to me and did apologize for it.

Here are some tactics

1. Art therapy - drawing, painting, sculpting, or even poetry as to how you feel
2. Writing fake letters to her
3. Positive affirmations on rejection and depression
4. If you need to cry it's ok, that's just you healing and letting go of the pain
5. Find a new therapist who uses a narrative-based therapy as they are much more gentle