Hello there.
For those who don't know me, I used to frequent the forums here, and even met someone here (now my ex).
The last time I was here, I wasn't very friendly, even though I was nice most of the time. You see, I made a post a while back that made others feel bad, especially other women. I did it because I was in a very bad place; I was in a dying marriage with an aspie who also had bipolar disorder. It caused me to lose it so many times, especially at my volunteer job at a library (I wasn't let go, I left on my own accord).
I tried helping my ex with various issues, such as finances, eating habits, and his bipolar. He refused to get help for either, coming up with excuses every time. For example, his bipolar disorder caused him to develop a backwards sleeping schedule, and made his anger issues even worse, to the point where he would become violent.
He filed for divorce because he claimed that I was too angry at him and wouldn't accept his habits, even though I just wanted to help. I only agreed to this because my brother heard about what my ex did to me, and wasn't too happy. Plus, my cat Kiki somehow sensed bad juju in him, even though I was oblivious to it at first.
I honestly only got into the dating game years back because my brother, who was on salts at the time, told me that I would never lose my virginity due to my weight. Also, the majority of my cousins had SO's of their own, and I wanted to be more included.
After he filed, I had to be hospitalized three times during the next month and a half. I was put on Abilify, and had since attended partial hospitalization. The depression took at least three months to go away, but I was able to get it together with the knowledge that my family (and cat) was on my side.
After the divorce got finalized, I have learned more about myself than I had prior to the divorce. I have developed new interests, such as coloring and jewelry making, and even became a little more extroverted with my other relatives. I am even thinking about selling my jewelry (mostly earrings and bracelets) either on Etsy or to other small shops (my mom knows a few that I can sell them to).
So yeah, that's what happened the past couple years. What I did here back then was totally uncalled for. I messed up, and accept any form of blame that was thrown at me on my last thread. I have even taken initiative by dieting and counting calories on a daily basis; I have lost 37 pounds in the last few months. Please forgive me, and I promise that I will be a better member here. I won't be as active here due to Tuesday and Thursday afternoons being Partial Hospitalization, but I will try to be better than I was two years ago.
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Black cat on duty
07 Jun 2021, 8:23 pm
