I feel like a terrible person and a disgrace to WP. Goodbye

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badRobot
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15 Jun 2021, 12:40 pm

salad wrote:
I dont honestly know how to joke or have fun. I try to but I dont. this trip with my fiancee so far was my 1st attempt at light talk and being fun and while I did alright, I felt like I was a nervous wreck trying hard to be fun to talk with even though im unsure what to say. ive taken it upon myself to force myself to watch American TV shows to teach me the finer arts of small talk and playful humor, and so far im still learning this esoteric art that im struggling to master. Maybe the kind and pleasant people here on this forum can teach me how to talk and not be a misfit


salad, being funny and good at small talk is not knowledge, it's a skill. this skill is mostly about interaction with the other person, reading their reaction and so on. This skill can be acquired only by deliberate practice with a real person, not by passive watching, join improv or acting class, it will really help. Improv is like verbal brazilian jiu-jitsu, it will unlock something in you, open some talents you didn't know you have beyond just small talk and jokes.



browneyedgirlslowingdown
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15 Jun 2021, 2:17 pm

Hi I am new here, but I like you and I am also solutions-focused in my pursuits to be a better person. Please stay, neurodiversity means accepting all brains not just one like the others.


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maycontainthunder
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15 Jun 2021, 2:30 pm

As a fat person I never thought I'd say this but Salad, come back! :jester:

No, but joking aside Salad forums need diversity or they become a collection of extraordinarily boring sock puppets often with explosive bouts of typed diarrhoea. You don't post anything like this and you are NOT IN ANY WAY a disgrace.

I see many people who have their issues and post them on here and there can be nothing wrong with that though there is that occasional person with nothing better to do than criticise who are best ignored.

The hardest part of all when on the spectrum is to ignore such people. It just takes a bit of will power and metal fortitude to do this things I'm sure you have a great deal of.

Stay Salad.



enz
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15 Jun 2021, 3:29 pm

salad wrote:

To all the people who were jealous of me or felt upset by my engagement, well here's news to you: Im not doing well. Not one bit. If you think this engagement is somehow my life being a heaven of bliss you're mistaken. I thought love and comfort with someone who loves me would fix me, that it would erase all these scars. The truth is im just as broken now as I felt a week ago. The truth is at the end of the day however much I wish I was better, however much I want to be doing better, and however much I want this engagement to be the beginning of happiness, im damn afraid that she will leave me, that she's blinded and fell in love with a fraud


Then tell her who’s she’s marrying before she marries you so she can help you and vice versa

It will take guts, you might think she might not want to get married. Better now than when you have a kid

Just my POV could be wrong



Last edited by enz on 15 Jun 2021, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

goldfish21
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15 Jun 2021, 3:41 pm

cyberdad wrote:
badRobot wrote:
your mindset of looking for solutions, being intentional and taking responsibility for your wellbeing is not encouraged here.


Actually there's a thread where 30-40 WP members encouraged and applauded salad for taking the initiative with his life.


Ya.. :?

Image

There are definitely ppl here who not only applaud others for taking personal responsibility & taking action to improve things in their lives, but also do those things ourselves. I've been rather outspoken about it here for the last ~9 years. 8)


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badRobot
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15 Jun 2021, 4:12 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
badRobot wrote:
your mindset of looking for solutions, being intentional and taking responsibility for your wellbeing is not encouraged here.


Actually there's a thread where 30-40 WP members encouraged and applauded salad for taking the initiative with his life.


Ya.. :?

There are definitely ppl here who not only applaud others for taking personal responsibility & taking action to improve things in their lives, but also do those things ourselves. I've been rather outspoken about it here for the last ~9 years. 8)


His other threads where he expresses his views and shares his approach are pretty much ignored. E.g, "Hard Intense Training Is The Best Cure For A Lot Of Problems" - there are couple dismissive comments, one saying such recommendation given to depressed people is "insulting harassment". There is only one other person who really supports him there.

I don't really see any evidence of universal support and encouragement of his mindset here. Nowhere near 30-40 WP members sharing his mindset, approach and values.



kraftiekortie
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15 Jun 2021, 4:21 pm

I may not be into "hard and intense training"----but that's just me.

It has nothing to do with Salad as a person.

Just because I don't believe every word he writes----doesn't mean I don't have a regard for him.

Disagreements are part of life.



badRobot
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15 Jun 2021, 4:57 pm

Yes, disagreement is part of life. When majority of people here disagree with his values, ideas and views that are important for him, expression of his identity it kind of indicates he isn't truly accepted here.

Words say one thing, actions say the opposite. Words are meaningless without action. This is part of life too.

I believe he is right, his personality clashes with collective mindset of this forum, he would be better off without this community holding him back. It doesn't mean people here mean harm, just being counterproductive for his personal growth kind of like loving, but overprotective parents.



Last edited by badRobot on 15 Jun 2021, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

funeralxempire
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15 Jun 2021, 4:58 pm

badRobot wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
badRobot wrote:
your mindset of looking for solutions, being intentional and taking responsibility for your wellbeing is not encouraged here.


Actually there's a thread where 30-40 WP members encouraged and applauded salad for taking the initiative with his life.


Ya.. :?

There are definitely ppl here who not only applaud others for taking personal responsibility & taking action to improve things in their lives, but also do those things ourselves. I've been rather outspoken about it here for the last ~9 years. 8)


His other threads where he expresses his views and shares his approach are pretty much ignored. E.g, "Hard Intense Training Is The Best Cure For A Lot Of Problems" - there are couple dismissive comments, one saying such recommendation given to depressed people is "insulting harassment". There is only one other person who really supports him there.

I don't really see any evidence of universal support and encouragement of his mindset here. Nowhere near 30-40 WP members sharing his mindset, approach and values.


I'll stand by the notion that persistently insisting that all someone needs to do are some burpees as a magic cure for their chronic and treatment resistant depression becomes harassment if the advice has been consistently dismissed.

Salad seems genuine in his concern for other posters and doesn't become insulting or rude towards them when his advice isn't taken. Not everyone here can claim that.

I appreciate salad's presence and believe that he's overall a positive contributor in spite of any disagreements.


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kraftiekortie
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15 Jun 2021, 5:00 pm

I feel like many people here share his values, to be honest.

I feel like it's more a matter of degree than anything else.

I'm not sure, if I would say I'm leaving, that I would have gotten the reception Salad got.



funeralxempire
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15 Jun 2021, 5:02 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel like many people here share his values, to be honest.

I feel like it's more a matter of degree than anything else.

I'm not sure, if I would say I'm leaving, that I would have gotten the reception Salad got.


You'd get an even larger one, without doubt. You're a longtime regular poster and while there's folks who disagree with you at times I don't think there's anyone here who actually dislikes you.


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kraftiekortie
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15 Jun 2021, 5:06 pm

I would say people came to bat for Salad.

Salad is a very intelligent guy who reads considerably.

He inspired me to read more thoroughly about the Palestinian situation.



badRobot
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15 Jun 2021, 5:14 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I'll stand by the notion that persistently insisting that all someone needs to do are some burpees as a magic cure for their chronic and treatment resistant depression becomes harassment if the advice has been consistently dismissed.

Why persistently insisting that all someone needs to do "love yourself first" as a magic cure for their chronic and treatment resistant depression doesn't become harassment if the advise has been consistently dismissed?

And you are demonstrating the same toxic dismissive tone again, reenforcing the same false belief. This is not some magic cure as we already discussed.

funeralxempire wrote:
Salad seems genuine in his concern for other posters and doesn't become insulting or rude towards them when his advice isn't taken. Not everyone here can claim that.

Yeah, because you would make him feel like terrible person for giving such advise.



Last edited by badRobot on 15 Jun 2021, 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

funeralxempire
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15 Jun 2021, 5:18 pm

badRobot wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
I'll stand by the notion that persistently insisting that all someone needs to do are some burpees as a magic cure for their chronic and treatment resistant depression becomes harassment if the advice has been consistently dismissed.

Why persistently insisting that all someone needs to do "love yourself first" as a magic cure for their chronic and treatment resistant depression doesn't become harassment if the advise has been consistently dismissed?


If you fail to understand how persistently bothering someone is harassment I'm not sure how to explain further on a level that you'll comprehend.

I haven't seen salad engage in that behaviour so he's not who I've called out for it; and there's no need for you to hijack his thread over your hurt feelings.


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badRobot
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15 Jun 2021, 5:25 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
If you fail to understand how persistently bothering someone is harassment I'm not sure how to explain further on a level that you'll comprehend.

I haven't seen salad engage in that behaviour so he's not who I've called out for it; and there's no need for you to hijack his thread over your hurt feelings.


If you fail to understand how persistently bothering someone with advise you agree with is harassment as well, but you choose to ignore it I'm not sure how to explain further on a level that you'll comprehend.

I didn't hijack his thread, I expressed my opinion, you started this argument again.



goldfish21
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15 Jun 2021, 5:56 pm

badRobot wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
badRobot wrote:
your mindset of looking for solutions, being intentional and taking responsibility for your wellbeing is not encouraged here.


Actually there's a thread where 30-40 WP members encouraged and applauded salad for taking the initiative with his life.


Ya.. :?

There are definitely ppl here who not only applaud others for taking personal responsibility & taking action to improve things in their lives, but also do those things ourselves. I've been rather outspoken about it here for the last ~9 years. 8)


His other threads where he expresses his views and shares his approach are pretty much ignored. E.g, "Hard Intense Training Is The Best Cure For A Lot Of Problems" - there are couple dismissive comments, one saying such recommendation given to depressed people is "insulting harassment". There is only one other person who really supports him there.

I don't really see any evidence of universal support and encouragement of his mindset here. Nowhere near 30-40 WP members sharing his mindset, approach and values.


Are you suggesting that he's wrong? :?

Diet, exercise, sunlight, water, sleep.. are in fact all the best cures for a lot of problems.

You don't like that he's persistent and consistent in his messaging, that physical exercise is good for the body, mind, mood, soul & more. That doesn't make him incorrect just because you don't like it.


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