I feel stagnant.

Post Reply New Topic

Life feels so...flat. Lifeless. It lacks a spark, you know? There's a lack of energy. I grow bored. Just going through the motions. People keep telling me to step out of my comfort zone, but how can I see the edges of somewhere I've always been?

Other times I wish I could swap lives with someone else, just temporarily, for a change of pace...I want change but the desire is vague. I don't know what I want to change, but I know something ought to.

tough one . and i know how it is .sounds like you need excitement in your life

Job

Hobby

Friend


"Chop wood and carry water"


Going through the motions ain't such a bad thing

So, I decided to bring back an old habit now that I have time to do so. This habit is having a notebook at the side of my bed, turning on my lamp and spending half an hour to an hour speculating on possible activities and ideas. Followed by going to sleep. If I don't feel like it, I read instead.

Anyway, I'm glad I did because having the notebook in front of me led to an idea. I am going to learn more about kinetic typography. My ideas involve visualising emotions and perhaps particular phobias such as arachnophobia and claustrophobia. I think that you could do a lot of interesting things with presenting such a concept, visually speaking.

Further, I really ought to get more exercise, it's influencing my mood.

You are a luvely young person and I am sorry you feel that way.
The pandemic isn't helping any of us.
I am hopeful you will find your zest in life sooner rather than later.
You deserve it.

You've been intensely involved in University, etc., for the past few years. It's almost as if you were on "uppers."

Anybody who is on "uppers" always have "downer" moments when the "high" is taken away. The "high," in your case, was the pursuit of your degree.

I feel like this is what's happening with you.

I fee like you gave yourself excellent advice.

I’m sorry you are feeling stagnant. I get that also from time to time. When I am really stuck, eventually, I just try to do something new, or do something differently.

It can be as simple as walking home a different way. Or trying a different jam on your bread. It doesn’t seem like it would do this, but it helps me.

Big hugs

I have decided to meet up with a couple of friends in the near future. When this happens, I will be fully vaccinated (I am due to get my second vaccine this weekend). It's also just a small group and I will do at-home tests just to make sure.

My final year of university felt incredibly chaotic and it almost feels like I hallucinated it. Most of my time was spent on Zoom and in a state of stress (especially when I had to remake my 3d animation from scratch because it wasn't good enough - usually we'd have three months for such a task, but I had one month to do this and I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to do it).

Thankfully, I managed it, but that was a rough month. I didn't get much sleep. Then I had to show up to my degree show running on three hours of sleep and present my work. It was an odd experience.



University did take up a lot of my time. I never fully noticed how much of my life it was taking up until it came to an end. There are definitely parts I miss, such as the student library. It was nice to have a clear goal (graduating) but now I've achieved that. Being so close to failing was horrible, I never thought I'd be in a situation where one module would decide whether I get a 2:1 or whether I retake the year. I am glad that I got the 2:1 and that I don't have to do more modules.

Now people are on my tail to get a job. Trying to get myself to follow a schedule has been difficult. I'm the only one who can truly hold myself responsible these days and I don't particularly trust myself. Although, having said that, I have been asking for feedback from my peers on my portfolio - they've been harsh but constructive. I do sometimes wish I could give up and be a houseplant.



Small changes can make a surprisingly big difference sometimes.

Do wallflowers have more fun? I've been watching mine closely for a while now. Some die, some get stressed, some thrive, some multiply, some get root rot. I imagine it's no fun to get all your leaves yellowing and drooping from what used to be a fantastic palm tree-like crown. There's this one plant looks like a colored nettle, it spread out immensely and is very tall and long, which gets thirsty and droopy on all its leaves all the way to the bottom, every couple days and that mustn't be too fun either. The Parlor Palms are multiplying, getting new leaves. Theyre very cute, supposed to get gigantic but might take a long time. They seem to be having the most fun, it's like they're partying. One of the groups have 2 dry leaf tips though. Have they been drinking too much?

You would make an amazing houseplant, or whatever you set your mind on.