[ RANT ] No More Causes!

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[rant]

Why I No Longer Get Involved in Other People's Causes.

I am an ordinary, white, middle-aged, middle-class male.  I also like helping people and being part of causes that advance the human condition.

But I am not getting physically involved in other people's causes any more.  The reasons are complex, but they come down to one basic idea; that is, I'm simply tired of being in conflict with the very same people that I am trying to help.

And how did this come about?  Well, in my 60+ years of life, I have encountered suspicion, contempt, hostility, and threats of violence from the people I am sincerely trying to help -- they have cursed me, exploited me, and blamed me for the problem existing in the first place, and sometimes all at once.

1) "What problem?"
    o "There is no problem."
      • "Ignore the people begging for help."
      • "Lies and rumors."
      • "Who told you there was a problem?"
    o "The problem isn't as bad as you think."
      • "We have everything under control."
      • ("... we can talk later ... in private ...")
    o "We don't have a problem, YOU do!"
      • "You think you have all of the answers, huh?"

2) "You're not one of us".
    o "It's a <culture/gender/race/religion> thing; you wouldn't understand."
      • "You know nothing about our customs and traditions."
    o "Your book-learning, while significant, is totally irrelevant."
      • "This is the REAL world, and not some classroom exercise."
    o "That's all we need ... another clueless volunteer."
      • "Self-righteous and judgmental, too!"
      • "You'll just get in the way."
    o "You can stick around, but don't tell us what to do."
      • "Don't even make a suggestion."
      • "Just do as you're told."

3) "You're one of 'them'."
    o "You're a stranger, and therefor a threat to our cause."
      • "Who knows what you're REALLY up to?"
    o "You're White, and therefor racist."
      • "You're only here to exert white dominion over us nonwhites."
      • "You're only here to cause trouble for us."
    o "You're Male, and therefor sexist."
      • "You're only here to exert male dominion over us women."
      • "You're only here to cause trouble for us."
      • "You're only here to meet women."
    o "You look like a cop, so you must actually BE a cop."
      • "You're only here to suppress free assembly and arrest people."
      • "You're only here to spy on us and report back to your masters."
      • "You're only here to cause trouble for us."

4) "You don't really want to help."
    o "We doubt your honesty, integrity, sincerity, et cetera."
    o "You have ulterior motives."
      • "You're obviously expecting something in return."
      • "You're really here to impose your own standards upon us."
      • "You're really here to cause trouble for us."
      • "You're really here to meet women."
      • "You're really here to sabotage or hinder our efforts."
      • "You're really here to spy on us."
      • "You're really here to steal from us."

5) "You have little or nothing to offer to our cause."
    o "You have no money."
      • Oh, you really DO have money! We can accept that, but not you."
    o "You have no appropriate skills."
      • Oh, you really DO have skills! You can help, but stay out of sight."

6) "We don't NEED your help, anyway."
    o "Accepting your help means we're admitting defeat."
    o "We didn't ask for any help in the first place."
    o "We can manage our own affairs, thank you very much."
    o "Actually, we DO need your help, but..."
      • "... our leaders forbid it."
      • "... our pride forbids it."
      • "... our religion forbids it."
      • "... our traditions forbid it."

7) "It's all YOUR fault!"
    o "You did nothing to prevent it in the first place!"
    o "You should have been here sooner!"
    o "You're a man, and men caused the problem!"
    o "You're a stranger, and strangers caused the problem!"
    o "You're an American, and America caused the problem!"
    o "You're white, and whites caused the problem!"

8) "We just don't want you here."
    o "Please leave, and do it quietly."
      • "We will close ranks and ignore you until you do."
      • "If you don't leave, we will hurt you."
    o "But your money can stay with us."
      • "Cash only, please."
      • "Sorry, no receipts."

9) "Sure, you can help!"
    o "You do all of the work."
      • "If you get hurt, we don't know you."
    o "We take all of the credit."
      • "Our cause; our glory."
    o "If anything goes wrong, we blame you."
      • "And something WILL go wrong."

[/rant]

What specific kinds of causes have you gotten involved with? (Answer only if you feel comfortable telling us about them.)

Can you not derive the answer from the contents of the rant?

If you're autistic, don't ever help those in need that are not family or close friends irrespective of how desperately they need it. They can sense you're vulnerable and won't think twice about throwing you under a bus and destroying your sanity.

If that helpless person asks for for a car lift don't, if you do you'll find yourself giving lifts to his/her entire family and social circle at all hours of the night a month later.

If that person you haven't met in years asks you for money don't, they'll ask for more and more until you're ruined.

Obviously, they'll say it's all your fault and you don't care about them when you refuse.

Good for you!

I only help children of all races. Once they reach a certain age, they have been bent in the ways in which they will grow forever. That's when I step back. But, a little kid can be helped, even if it's just with love and kindness.

"No good deed goes unpunished."

I might give money to a homeless person if we have a nice conversation, or if the person plays good music or sprouts forth good comedy, or if I see obvious sores on the person's body.

If a person gets aggressive in begging, I won't ever give.

I donate (almost always) small amounts to various organizations online.

By nature, charity is meant to be anonymous, and not advertised to others.

Helping anonymously would solve all your rant problems.