Feel low today

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Some days I feel really low and can't pinpoint why. I feel isolated from everyone in the world. I don't feel like doing anything at all.

Today is one of those days. It's not that I haven't got things to do - I'm trying to study for a small online business, health permitting (I have physical health issues on top of autism, joy), a series I'm watching, you tube videos I could click on. I've taken my dog out twice.

I feel like crying. I'm just going through the motions. Antidepressants have never helped me so I have no faith in them. Sometimes I think my problem is existential in nature - it's more how life is. Some days I find joy, some I just can't. I suppose it's how it goes.

Anyone else feel low today? Or anything like this.

Yes. Some days are just low. No particular reason. I used to (well, still sometimes do) get deep into the existential stuff, but I think that’s giving it too much weight.

What I do is accept it and rest. Sleep if I can. Doze. Read fiction. Something light and easy.

I’ve come to understand that being autistic in this world requires a huge amount of energy. So we need more rest - or at least I do.

Similar does happen from time to time.

Sometimes I haven't got any idea why, other than it being a general 'symptom' of having bad health and living in an imperfect world.

Sometimes I know exactly why, the isolation, the pain, the lack of a sense of purpose according to society's typical benchmarks and standards.

Sometimes it turns out to be, umm, when's the last time I ate a real meal?

Sometimes it happens when looking at a hobby project I want to make progress on and this defective body says, nope, not today mate.

Sometimes it is such that I look at those projects, at the housekeeping, and say, eh, what's the point of ever doing any of it anyway.

Sometimes that feeling low seems to be connected to remembering something I used to really enjoy doing and can not do any more.

Sometimes that feeling low seems to be a kind of tide, it comes in, it goes out, eventually does it again, on an unknown schedule for unknown reasons.

Sometimes I think, it's gotta be because the sunspots.

Thank you for this. That's very good advice. I don't have enough 'lighter times' as my mind is so heavy, always focused on existential pain. I agree that being autistic takes a lot more energy and I have health issues too so resting and pacing is essential. When I'm overloaded I know about it very quickly and burnout.

Thank you for this. I relate very much. I do think my physical health has an impact, not least because the inflammation in my brain probably affects my mood.

Yes exactly, I wonder what's the point of doing any of this. And don't feel like doing anything I used to love.

I probably need to go with the flow and trust it will pass.

I wish I had a diagnosis of autism. That would help explain why I've felt such an outsider all my life. I KNOW in my heart I'm autistic though. My son is severely autistic and my dad and uncle both had clear traits. I even used to stim as a child and catch myself rocking sometimes even now. I was always the weird child, the loner. I didn't know how to behave in social situations, although over the years I have learnt. It all points to autism so a diagnosis maybe wouldn't make any difference apart from to validate my suspicions.

Today is better so will keep plodding on.

play with life

its all bollocks

Reikistar - how are you feeling? any better?

I really appreciate you asking, thanks. This week hasn't been good. As per my other thread, I visited my severely autistic son in his new home and he didn't want me there. That didn't help my mood at all. But I'm plodding along each day. I feel pretty low but I'm trying to find ways of managing my mood - music, study, special interests etc.

Yes, I know. But this thread was not knowing why you were feeling bad. So I don’t know if it was a particularly bad day, this thread. It’s really a developmental stage all children should go through, re: your son. You want your child to be independent, I’m sure. Kids rarely can learn independence when their parents are around.

Been there. Doesn’t help how much it hurts. But it seems to be a necessary step, at least in western culture.