Hey there,
I saw your name and thought you sounded like someone I would get along with. My family used to own Magic Mtn ski area in Vermont. So I am a bit of a ski bum myself... well snowboard bum anyway.
Things have been hard for me too. I am just coming out of a several year depression caused by my diagnosis, covid, and my younger brother killing himself last year. I am 100% sure he was autistic too. I tried to convince him to get help... but he chose another way out instead.
Want to know something sad. The thing that pissed me off the most was the fact that he beat me to it. I felt like he stole my ability/right to kill myself. I am not mean enough to do that to my dad a second time. So here I am just hanging around... trying to take it one day at a time.
Anyway... I just wanted you to know my life sucks too. You are not alone... if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to hit me up.
_________________
That feeling when you have a secret. Not a bad one, but like a really great idea that you are dying to share with people. Yet you know (according to societal standards) it is just too soon and people will think you are crazy lol. So you force yourself to keep quiet and it just slowly eats away at you. Patiently, you stare into a seemingly infinite future, waiting for the perfect time to finally spill the beans.