Anyone else hate making future plans...

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Because they feel that the way the world is they don't even have a future? I gave up pretty much any and all long-range plans or goals because of covid and the stupidity and insanity of humans. As if I had any chances of achieving those goals to begin with anyway.

I don't think I'm a very superstitious person, but deep down I feel uneasy just saying "see you next week" to my mother. I even feel weird saying "have a good weekend" because deep down I know when you hope for anything positive, the exact opposite almost always happens. The world is full of garbage, both literally and figuratively, and we could die at any second. All night long I hear strange noises from outside and I can't always tell if it's just the snowplow going down the street or a missile being dropped on us. And then I wait for a few seconds for everything to turn pure white, and when it doesn't I feel stupid for letting my heart nearly jump out of my chest.

I guess I should be glad I don't live in a place where I hear gunfire and sirens all night long. Great, now I've jinxed it again.

My difficulty with future plans has nothing to do with the state of the world but rather with my defective body.

There at least seems to be, and I think I can document the reality of it, all through my life something from among the musculoskeletal, neurological, endocrine, immunological, defects this body has, which eventually jumps up and puts a halt to what I want to do, where I want to go, the goal and dream I was pursuing.

Sometimes through increasing severity of an already known thing and sometimes a new thing from way out of left field, as the saying says.

I used to jump right to saying, "Okay, that's the new normal, now to enact a new plan given the new givens!"

After so many times of that I don't do it any more.

A sad thing, but oh well, such is life.

Those kind of phrases are just polite small-talk / sweet nothings to mark the wrap-up of a conversation / start of a goodbye. It’s just what NTs do.

I was up just north of Boston near the holidays some years ago at my best friend’s girlfriend’s house and it was late so we overnighted. From the guest room at like 3 a.m. I heard the loudest BOOM I have ever experienced; I genuinely thought a nuke had gone off in the city, and likewise was just waiting for the white flash and fireball to reach me. I pinched myself. It wasn’t a dream. It was from far away but was SO loud. Next morning, everyone else said they hadn’t heard anything.

But to the broader point of the post, yeah, I can appreciate that feeling. The news on tv and headlines and personal day-to-day experiences can easily make anyone believe the entire world is going to hell in a handbasket, from the macrocosm of climate change to record inflation and prices of everything to just how everything seems to be operating at polemic extremes that just widen and widen more each day. To the microcosm of how everyone is just so angry ALL the time. Or careless, stupid, depraved, violent, selfish bastards. And it’s easy to see the world like the palantir stone of Lord of the Rings that makes the magistrate so old and frail and full of doom… but the palantir stone only shows one version of things, and the worst of everything going on. The teevee is very much like that palantir stone.

I don't either.

But not because of questioning if I can or see it as pointless.
But because everything is unreliable. Too unpredictable. Cannot get involved alone in life and without someone meddling about.

My life will likely be at a pause for as long as I'm still living under the same roof with anyone else.


I barely gotten started -- having my own space.
But I cannot have my own life yet. Not with my mom still alive, not with my own promise of not leaving her alone until her final days.

Never with a culture that highly associates what I do with my family or the company I keep.

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The Morrissey lyric springs to my mind:

"And I recommend that you
Stop watching the news
Because the news contrives to frighten you
To make you feel small and alone
To make you feel your mind isnt your own"

I've felt that way since I was young

What is the point of good nutrition and hard work if you could get shot tomorrow?

But then anyone could get shot tomorrow and some people accomplish some things

For me, it is a balance of the current and the future

For example, I eat mostly healthy grub and then some junk food.

I work part time, minimum wage job. I am not a workaholic but I do work

No, not particularly.. especially since all plans are technically future plans! :p

It seems you’re simply very depressed and the plans you ought to be making for the very near future are to address that. Possibly via medication, some form of therapy, or even just healthy food, water, sunshine, sleep and exercise.

Key thing is to not plan too far into the future (and never get around to it) Or make such difficult elaborate comprehensive plans that they’re too overwhelming to put into action. Make simple plans. Plan on getting up by X time - set an alarm and then do it. Boom, planned action complete! Consider it a success and celebrate with a hot breakfast meal and a cup of coffee or tea. Then plan something else easy enough to execute, do it, and reinforce in your brain with plan after plan that planning and doing are achievable despite all of the negativity going on in the outside world. Maybe also plan on avoiding watching or listening to any news, too, as that’d surely give you a better perspective considering it’s all just fear pr0n that distracts us from the things that are actually important and valuable in our lives.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I don't make future plans, except for medical appointments that I might end up cancelling. Even those are on Zoom.

In terms of life plans or social plans, nope. Nothing. I know from experience that no matter what I plan, I might change my mind because of anxiety or sensory shutdown or fatigue. I don't like to make plans and disappoint the other person, so I don't visit anyone except my partner. I see my mother only as required as a caregiver or for holidays / birthdays. I worked long enough and lived my life on a treadmill always worried about the next day, next year, next decade. I left work on disability years ago and I'm just coasting now, dealing with permanent burnout but also loving the lack of structure or obligation.

In my ASD assessment the doctor asked me what goals I had for myself and I said none. I didn't mean that to sound negative or nihilistic. Of course I want to stay alive and enjoy things as they come, but I don't pre-plan anything other than life insurance and paying my bills. I have a good trauma therapist and an OT. I make small changes to my life / routine as needed but it's not like I plan anything big picture.

Your description of anxiety sounds like trauma from repeat disappointment, which is completely understandable given what you've likely lived through. If you're having difficulty dealing with it and you want to change it, please reach out because I have lots of experience in trauma therapy. If however you just want validation that it's OK to feel this way ... yes it is. There's always hope of course, and it's good for our mental health if we can muster some in the worst of times, but if you are comfortable making a decision to detach then that's what's best for you.

I always have plans. Plans within plans, plans branching out from plans. Failsafe plans. Etc.

Yes yes yes. I really don't see myself ever accomplishing anything, and trying to make plans for the future or even thinking about what I'm supposed to have to go do with my life gives me so much anxiety I genuinely need to avoid such thoughts to keep myself from going insane.