I wish I wasn’t born

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I hate my sister, I wish she died instead of my mom, I know that is wrong. My sister thinks she really knows me, I tried talking to her about my Aspergers, she don’t listen too good, if she don’t like something, she will say whatever she think of me, she will believe that. I wish my sister realized she can be wrong about me, she don’t care too much to learn the truth. Me & my sister were never close, she wasn’t there for me when I needed a big sister, she wasn’t accepting me with having Cerebral Pasly, she wasn’t around me too much growing up. When I was living with my mom, we always visit my sister, she was living with her husband, things were so awkward & I was uncomfortable, I wanted to talk to her, I didn’t know how. I can have a very hard time understanding people, I can ask people to repeat their questions. There were ALOT of times, my sister didn’t explain things too good to me, I told her to explain better, she told me this year, she would not explain things. I’m sooo tired of dealing with her. I know I have to talk to her, cuz she in charge of the trust fund. But when she texts, she think I will understand her texts, she can use words that I don’t know, she think I know them. Maybe if I email her again explaining things, she would understand, maybe not, she is like a brick wall when I’m talking to her. And what I hate is when I tell her that I can’t talk right now, she tells me I’m not talking, I’m texting, it a different kind of talking, you still talk, you have to think about what to say. I tried talking to my cousin, she don’t understand, she just tells me to try very hard to communicate with her. Nobody in my family understands. I feel sooooo alone, it is very scary. Someone is helping me now. My sister wasn’t around me too much my whole life & we not close. She decided to become a big sister to me after our mom died, she decided to be in my life more when i was 43, I feel like she been my sister for 10 years. I feel like crying now, I’m soooo tired of crying. I wish I wasn’t born.

Well, that's good. Are they also helping with communication with your sister about daily life struggles, finances, trust fund money etc? It seems that would be very, very, helpful in terms of sorting out your budget and future financial plans so that you can relax vs. stress about paying regular monthly bills.

Is this person a friend? Neighbour? Social worker of some sort? Hopefully they have your best interests in mind and can truly be helpful.

Don’t wish death upon your sister, that is very very terrible. I lost my sister to cancer.

I’m sorry about your sister, I lost my mom to cancer too. There no love for my sister, she did soooooo much damage to me.

I'm just FYI'ing you: Your sister might read this.
Anyway, this might sound stupid (and maybe your cerebral palsy makes it hard for you to speak), but: She might be trying to get you to call her instead of texting. Maybe it is just hard for her to communicate in text -- some people have to talk out loud.
Do you ever call your sister and try having a conversation over the phone? (This is easier to do for me if I text the person first and ask if I can call them)