Things are looking up sort of.

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Im home 2 weeks and i have already quit lithium and visteral plus the two sleeping pills. no withdrawal. i have cut the risperdal in half and probally going to be completely off in two months. i just lied and said the doctor at the program said it was ok for me to come off. the program is pretty cool. my mom gets me anything i ask for. on the downside it seems im permantly injured. personality gone. memory gone. ability to think gone. ability to feel emotions gone. it just sucks living.

You're "gone" as you say, because of all those crazy drugs they had you on? That is why I never got diagnosed- because I was scared "they" would get me on some lame ass drugs and I would no longer be a chess master or able to think in such distinctive ways. I feel for you man, I hope things keep getting better and you can re-find your Self. Read Charles Taylor if you can, he wrote a book about the origins of the Self in our times, where it came from historically, what the other philosophy schools around the Age of Enlightenment thought of the Self etc. It might give you some real perspective to begin to re-explore what your Self really is and where it got off to Good luck, sir.

personally, i have been researching stuff lately to see if any supplemental things could do anything for me and i think that i have found some things.

i have found vasodialators that are said to work well in the brain and i beleive that they have made a difference for me when i took them for a couple of weeks.

one of them is called "vinpocetine" and then there is "ginkgo" and "picamilon".

but i cautioned myself any mixture of anything because it could be toxic(in some cases it is) so i just took 50mg picamilon for a couple of weeks and thats it. i think that its been contributing in improvement in many areas of my "symptoms" such as improvement of verbal memory, improvement of motor reflexes i.e less robotic sounding voice, is a contribution to a more tranquil state of mind, and is a contributor of a better ability to focus instead of being fixated on stuff that is depressing.

i cautioned myself purchasing anything online, though, but if it is safe, i beleived that it would have all these charactoristics:

contact information, phone number... then i found the chemical properties of what is in the capsule to be consistant: white tasteless crystaline powder - water soluable.

i just thought i could post this here since i didn't think that my post would be so popular if i posted it in a new topic.

That's good. I'm not ever taking any stupid drugs for "treatment" myself.