My best friend never hugs me...

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Something that I have thought about recently and I thought about posting a seperate topic on is having hugging skills. For most people it comes naturally. However, some need help to learn to hug in a non-awkard manner. Do you think that could be the problem? Also, can anyone think of tips to do it more naturally when you seem to make the other person feel weird when they hug you, thereby making them hesitant to do it again?

My best friend (my sister, RIP) rarely tried to hug me, because she knew I didn't like physical contact. A friend from school (the only friend I have now) knows it too.

Yeah, people who I'm close to who make physical contact with all their other friends never hug me. Maybe it's some vibe we give off.

Wanting a hug doesn't have to mean that For people with horrid self-esteem, that kind of reassurance makes us feel like our friends love us and heck, it makes us feel like normal human beings who engage in human contact. I have the same problem--I feel a little hurt (not jealous) that my friends are always hugging each other randomly or when they do something funny or when they just plain need one. Actually, scratch that, I feel a lot hurt. I feel unhugable. And it sucks to be so caring to your friends but not have a shoulder to cry on because no one seems too keen on touching you. It makes me insecure and the fact that people just don't seem to want to hug me has caused a lot of awkward moments for me. Plus it just feeds my body and image problems as a bonus. See, not "obvious" at all. Ha! indeed...

Last edited by evil_eyes on 15 Nov 2010, 4:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

I remember the first and only time i hugged my best friend of 20+ yrs. It was around 7th grade and I was going to a sleep over at her house. I arrived at the same time as two other friends, who both casually went up to her and hugged her to say happy birthday. I followed their lead but i must have lingered too long or hugged her wrong somehow (not quite sure) and she laughed and said... 'Okay, we are never going to do that again.' We had been friends since 1st grade and she definitely picked up on how awkward and unsure i was about the physical contact. I'm glad it happened at that age... it definitely made for an interesting topic of conversation when i finally started dating and decided to ask her about it in my twenties.

My best friend hugs me and he protects me from creepers when we are walking outside at night.

Hugs aren't for me. I'd only hug a friend if they were going away for a long time or if they really needed one.

I don't get why young people these days are all huggy and stuff when they see their school friends in the street.

Some people are touchy feely and others aren't. You might be giving off body signals that suggest you don't want to be touched, but I think its more likely she just isn't the type. Or maybe, alternately, the gender difference makes it awkward.

I myself am sort of eclectic about "touching"(sounds like innuendo, heh). Most of the time I'll go rigid if someone touches me(reactively, I'm not trying to alienate anyone), but when I'm very down it feels kind of good. I think I've really only been hugged once under those circumstances.

Not that I'm blaming any of my associates or anything, I know I"m basically impossible to read.

HugshugshugsHugshugshugshug doesn't have to mean that For people with horrid self-esteem, that kind of reassurance makes us feel like our friends love us and heck, it makes us feel like normal human beings who engage in human contact. I have the same problem--I feel a little hurt (not jealous) that my friends are always hugging each other randomly or when they do something funny or when they just plain need one. Actually, scratch that, I feel a lot hurt. I feel unhugable. And it sucks to be so caring to your friends but not have a shoulder to cry on because no one seems too keen on touching you. It makes me insecure and the fact that people just don't seem to want to hug me has caused a lot of awkward moments for me. Plus it just feeds my body and image problems as a bonus. See, not "obvious" at all. Ha! indeed..."

I read this and then I got an account purely so I could comment.
*hugs you*
I know exactly what you mean. I have a friend who I regard as my best friend. She hugs literally everyone except me. I know 100% what you mean in making you feel "unhuggable".
But I also know that for me, it seems awkward, because people don't hug me, and people dont hug me because it seems awkward.
Here, though. I will metaphorically hug you now as many times as possible, so read this and know that you are not unhuggable.
Hugshugshugs

Try to only hug people you are close to or feel comfortable around. You don't have to hug people if you don't want to. I think you are giving off vibes that tell, "Back off".

Hugging is an action that I understood over time as a sign of affection. Although I do not like it for the most part, I allow my close friends or family to hug me only. I highly dislike it when someone I am not familiar with or who I just met hugs me.

You LUCKY PEOPLE, you, not only do you GET to hear me BRAG about how GREAT I AM, but I am also going to Deluxe-Hug each and every single one of you, too ! <Deluxe-Hugs each & every single one of you ! ^_^>
Yep, yup, yeahp... I know... I AM TOO MUCH! !! I am just amazing & incredible & charming that way, plus I am also DEADLY-HANDSOME, and oh yes I am also VERY MODEST, too !

Here's a study that pinpoints a missing gene that determines our attitude to hugging. Life experience may override it, but this explains a lot for me: https://thenewdaily.com.au/life/science ... -research/