Overwhelm

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I just want to curl up and have a good cry. I feel sooo overwhelmed! To be fair, things started getting to me before bed last night. Too many things not going as I expected. Then, I made the mistake of cleaning off my desk and seeing 3-4 attempts at getting organized. I was scheduled to get an evaluation last month but it fell through, so I have no help what-so-ever. Not even my family...especially not my family. I just feel so alone in all this and things are just SO difficult sometimes. Some days I just don't have the strength or words to explain it to my husband, and don't really have anyone else. I don't understand why other people have friends they can count on but I never have. Maybe it's because I require too much and no one has enough energy for that. Also, I hate Mother's Day, it seems everyone else is appreciated it so many cool ways and I rarely get anything. Thanks in advance for letting me get that out.

You are not alone.

We aren't supposed to problem solve here in the Haven but if there is anything we can do to help just give a shout.

Thank you so much, Fenn! I am learning more and more about how autism effects me and trying to avoid triggers, but with no help it's very difficult. Any tips for avoiding meltdowns and overwhelm would be super helpful. Are there any calming techniques that help you?

Ceallaigh,

Sorry that you are having a rough time. You are not alone in the feelings you desribe. I have them too quite regularly. I have no magic formula to make myself feel better. I just try to focus on small joys to pull me through.

Things could be worse. I understand loneliness and wish I had true friends I could trust. At least you have a husband. And perhaps your health. I don’t have those things. I’m scared and alone with no one to rely on.

Thank you! I'm doing better now that Mother's Day is past. I didn't realize how much I struggle with that holiday.

I DO have my husband and for the first time in a decade I have my health. I struggled with mycotoxosis (Toxic Mold Illness) for 10 years which caused Multiple Chemical Sensitivity making me extremely sensitive to chemicals especially synthetic fragrances. It limited who I could be around and where I could go to practically nothing and caused my brain to swell beyond a simple headache or migraine when exposed. It was excruciating and I was very miserable for what felt like forever. I'm sorry you feel alone and have no one to rely on. I know how scary that is. Perhaps you can find someone who understands by joining a group that focuses on your particular health issue. I found a couple friends that way and it was really nice to have people who understood, even if they were too far away to really do anything. Virtual hugs, if that's ok. Hang in there!

I'm glad you are feeling a little better. Regarding your post, it could almost have been written by me. I frequently see posts, like yours, that describe what I am feeling better than I can myself.

Holidays can be tough. Hang in there.

I have a book on ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) which uses the following image that I find helpful: my feelings are like the pieces on a chess board. The good feeling are like the white pieces and the bad feelings are like the black pieces. I sometimes think of these feelings as being at war - and these now life sized pieces are in a battle. I am riding on the White Queen's back and me and my good feelings are at battle with the bad feelings and I feel we MUST win. But when things don't go that way I feel overwhelmed. I can take a different view. I can imagine that I am the Chess Board. The black pieces and white pieces can continue to fight, but I am calm and stable and at peace underneath. This type of thinking is related to the concept of "mindfulness" - but the concrete image of the chess board helps me when I am feeling overwhelmed. It also helps to remind myself when I am feeling a panic attic or great sadness or depression coming on to recall that I have had feelings of fear, panic and "being down" before and they never seem to last more than three days. "This too shall pass". I read a story of a man who was going through a very hard time, his wife was dying and he didn't know if he could cope. A friend of his, a Jewish man had a ring which he gave to his friend to help him through the hard times. On one side of the ring were carves the words "this shall pass". He advised his friend: when he was going through a bad time he kept the ring turned so the words "this shall pass" were up and visible, to remind him. The other side of the ring has writing on it too, it read "this too shall pass". He advised his friend: when he was going through a good time in life he turned up the second side, to remind him. This story helps me.

ACT and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) use thinking to affect emotions.

DBT techniques also include some specific actions called "Distress Tolerance". These action are mechanical and bio-chemical in nature. They help you to use your body to affect emotions. One is to take a piece of ice in your first and hold it as tight as you possibly can until the feeling of danger or overwhelm starts to subside. It can help to break a flashback for people who are PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or to break through strong or overwhelming emotions. My personal theory is that ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) includes on a very basic level neurological hyper-sensitivities and hypo-sensitivities. PTSD also has hyper-sensitivities as well. People with ASD may also have PTSD but they may simply be hyper-sensitivities to emotional or environmental stimuli. DBT helps people to deal with emotional hyper-sensitivities. Another technique is intense exercise. Another it filling a basin with water and ice and putting your head into it and keeping it there until you cannot stand it any more then taking it out. There is a special scientific name for the way your body reacts to this kind of stimulation (the name of which I forget) but it will perceive that you are drowning or freezing and shut down unnecessary systems. One of them will be the one making you feel panicked or overwhelmed. Of the three I have tried the intense exercise, and the ice in the hand. My 12 year old son once tried the basin with the ice.

Another much simpler thing is to realize that I can handle a certain number of things - and limit myself to that number of things. Sometimes I will put on BOSE noise canceling earphones and listen to classical music (with no words which can trigger emotions for me). This keeps my mind from wandering and being distracted or overwhelmed with too much simului.
There is a book called "Getting Things Done" with very specific techniques for project management and task management which I have found useful for the more practical side of EF (Executive Functions) management and, well, just getting things done. It is not the number of things I can do that is limited so much as the number of things I can do AT ONCE.

I also find that prayer helps me a lot.

Thanks! You too!

Wow! That is very informative! I like the chess board one, even though I don't know how to play. It reminds me of something I had forgotten. It's a word-picture of laying on the grass watching clouds with emotions and emotional triggers attached to them. You have the choice of watching the cloud float by without engaging with it or grasping it and keeping it.