I'm Done With Adversities

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I never use the term "It's not fair" because some snobby jackass always uses that phrase against me by saying "Life's not fair".

Instead, I use the term "It's not right" because when has anything worked out mostly in my favor?

We've all arm wrestled with adversities and there are a lot of people who have bigger losing streaks than I, but my adversities often f*** with something they shouldn't whether it'd be my bread and butter or my escapes through hobbies and such. My happiness depends on my ability to escape and forget the harsh realities around me, but when my escapes are closed off, what can I do? Every bright light I've ever followed has been snuffed out one by one. Every window to another fantasy has been either shut or the fantasy itself tainted. The euphoria I get from my own hobbies has been cutoff time and again and now the cutoff feels like an ongoing process. I feel so limited. So many obstacles and I can't dodge or break them. Walls are closing in and I can't bust out. Adversities are ruining me and life would be so much enjoyable without them. There's a moral in a story where life would get boring without adversities. It couldn't be more boring than staring at the ceiling all day waiting for the stagnation that has limited me for so long to end. There is no downhill from here. Only a stagnation. I hit what felt like the bottom long ago. What feels like pain, anger or sadness and depression is just a terrible empty nothingness. My adversities have numbed me. They're so predictable now. Predictable losses, they don't make me feel anything and why bother putting up a fight? I won't humor them for old time's sake anymore. If my adversities disappear, I won't miss them.