Feeling depressed

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Where in that did I call you a racist?

I accused you of not researching the facts before you posted and I said your remark was an archaic racialist one. That is not calling you a racist.

Anyway I hope you get over your problem soon.

I think you'll find it's you that's accusing me of doing something that I didn't do Joe.

Over and out.

Sounds angry.


Feels like this sentence is finished off with an invisible "...but here you are" between the lines.



The angry way you worded your post it sounded like you were implying that I said a racist thing.

I tend to notice the emotion in what people say so if you hadn't sounded so angry then I wouldn't have felt I was being called a racist. It's not what people say, it's the way they say it is what I pick up on.

I didn't know that bigger bone density meant no difference to weight, as a black friend of mine was telling me last week that he can't swim because people of his race typically have a heavier bone density, particularly in their legs. So I learnt that from a black person, something I never knew before, and thought it might be why the neighbours living above me stomp around more, because of their bone density. I wasn't meaning any racialist intent. I just thought it was fact. I never knew it before. I thought all races had the same bone structure or density. I'm no scientist.

If this person is a true friend of yours I would go back and ask him if he was being serious about what he said.

Truly Joe I can't think of a single black person who would say such a thing unless they were purposely making fun of you because you may have appeared to be a little naive.

The swimming thing is a very old and untrue stereotype of black African people.

When I read your post I really didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I was going to report it but that wouldn't have been helpful and I would hate to go behind your back so I had to address it myself.

I was more incredulous than angry.

He's a good friend of mine, he wasn't "making fun" of me. We were having a conversation about sports, he asked me if I liked doing any sport so I said that I only really like swimming, to which he said that he can't swim because of, well, what I said earlier. To be honest, I was a little surprised by what he said but I could tell he was being serious so I said, "no way." But he was like, "yes, it's true." Then he asked me if I've ever seen a black olympic swimmer but I said I haven't ever really noticed, even though thinking about it, I'm sure I have seen a black swimmer.

But I do wish colour skin wasn't such a sensitive topic like there's shame to it or something, when there shouldn't be. But I do know that if a black person (innocently) said the same about a white person (like a white person being lighter or something) nobody would bat an eye.

I'm going to be frank. You really seriously need to assess your relationship with your boyfriend. I believe this fellow is not the first boyfriend of yours who had alcohol issues.

Being alone is better than being in an abusive relationship. And you are in abusive relationship with that boy -- the boy who won't swap apartments in order to alleviate a serious problem for you, the boy who gets mean and nasty with you when he gets drunk and has likely played a role in isolating you from your friends. Go to an Al-Anon meeting.

Worry about what you can change. Don't worry about Russia, climate change, COVID (except to the extent you protect your own self). Inflation stinks, but all we can do is grin and bear it.

Actually, you're wrong. This is the first long-term/serious relationship I have had, the previous boyfriends I had I dumped because I didn't fancy them. I don't know if they had alcohol problems or not.



It is NOT an abusive relationship. Think before you go judging people you have never met. And he does not isolate me from anybody. He's not that controlling type. Why do other Aspies want me to be single for?

If I could change these things then I wouldn't need to worry, would I? But I can't, so I do worry. Most adults worry about this stuff, especially when you have bills to pay and things are becoming unaffordable.

Oh - Babybird, I think I've figured out why you seem to not like me as much as you used to...is it because I mentioned somewhere in another thread that the "what's the time where you are?" thread that you started was pointless? If it is, I'm sorry that might have felt harsh and it probably was, but I was just being honest. I didn't mean it against you personally, as I didn't even notice who started the thread, and it's only me who has a lesser opinion on the thread, because there's like 918 pages of replies so fortunately it's not pointless to most members! Just don't listen to me, I'm sure a lot of threads that I start are also boring or pointless to some, if not most.

I thought I'd contributed in your thread.

I know but you do seem a bit off lately with me, when you've always been passive and understanding towards me. So I was just wondering if perhaps I had said something that upset you.

Medication

Telecommute

Maybe you could install insulation into your apartment

Earplugs

Tattle to the apartment manager

No because as an ADHD person I would never get started, also the neighbours are too noisy all day to be able to concentrate on work.


I want this but I don't know if it's that easy. The apartments aren't old but the floors seem to be paper thin.


I overuse earplugs and sometimes I do get fed up with feeling forced to wear earplugs all the time. It makes communicating difficult too.


I'm tempted but I have a feeling that I'll just be dismissed with a "there's nothing we can do about it", which is often what I hear from anyone when I have a complaint these days. Nobody seems to want to help me.

Hope your feeling a little better now

Yes, I do feel much better now. I have a few days where I just feel down, hopeless, alone and highly anxious about everything. Then it passes and I'm back to myself again. I have my first therapy appointment next month. It would have been this month but they cancelled at the last minute, which I felt annoyed about even though it wasn't their fault but it was still annoying when you're in desperate need.

The hot weather is getting to other people and is making them bad-tempered, so I feel I can't express my anxieties because people aren't in the mood at the moment. The hot weather doesn't make me grouchy. But I'm afraid to come to WP to express my anxieties because I feel some people laugh at me or mock me when I'm trying to reach out. Some people forget that this is the haven and that if they haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. If they do have an urge then they should PM each other and have a good old giggle about me, because then I wouldn't know. But not to my face (in a post) because it really hurts.
(Not referring to you by the way).