I think I accepted losing my grandmother two months ago. When my aunt email me wishing me a happy birthday, when I saw the email, I started to cry. My aunt used to bring my grandmother to visit me, my aunt bought her when I was in the healthcare center 4 years ago, my grandmother bought me In N Out food. They continue to visit me at home, always bring me Persian food, my grandmother bought me quarters once for my laundry, she had alot of quarters around her house. It wasn’t about the food & the gifts, it was about people loving & caring so much about me. My mom used to check in on me by bringing me stuff, we really didn’t get along back then, I just moved out on my own in 2007. She was still looking out for me when she had cancer. After she died, I called my grandmother alot, she is my mom’s mother. If I didn’t call, she would call to check in on me, she was protective of me & she could worry sooooooo much about me, sometimes she can be overprotective. Now that both my mom & grandmother are gone, I have nobody looking out for me. I know I still have family,but they don’t understand me, my dad don’t understand, he think he knows cuz he my father, my older sister thinks she knows me, cuz she my sister, I SOOO LOVE IT that she stopped talking to me. I feel soooo alone & lost. At least I have my cat, she loves me & show me love.