homophobic/transphobic abuse & slurs

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Was my reality yesterday as some guy ranted and shouted slurs at me for 5-10mins around 7:30 last night.

It's very rare, and especially on the beach where there's a very high % of gay/trans people all summer - because of the live and let live nature of the vibe there.

But with only a handful of people around this guy showed his true colours.

I didn't say too much in return besides that I felt bad for him being so filled with hate, and that he was fortunate I'm not a violent man and he's not worth an assault charge.

So far no one has been.. but damn if anyone ever is; after the first one I fully understand why repeat offenders repeat offend.. I mean, if your life is already restricted by a criminal conviction, what reason does one have Not to smash someone who deserves it? But so far there have been exactly zero a-holes that are worth sacrificing my future by throwing a first punch.

Anyways, I didn't get into a physical fight and I won't unless it's to physically defend myself (had he struck me I'd have destroyed him and he'd have deserved it.) but what I Will do is spread the word about his conduct on the beach and what he had to say to me. Then people can decide if he's shunned and banned from the beach or not. And if he still comes to the beach next summer, I'll make sure people know that he's a bigoted hateful homophobe/transphobe and that's who they're supporting if they buy anything he's selling with the objective being that if he can't make extra cash from the community down there then he'll have to go get a job somewhere else and not be there. Oh darn.

I’m sorry that happened to you.

Isn't it a crime? Nowadays people record such incidents as evidence, like in the case of that racist Karen in New York. A worthless lower being like that should be dealt with by the police. If necessary, it should be locked up.

Sorry that you had to experience such an unpleasant incident.

Am Glad you had good restraint …..very saddening that , that kind of conduct still exists .Sorry you went through that .

Yep. Sorry that happened to you.

I bet he’s not a “regular” at the beach.

I don’t believe the rant itself is against the law….but if he makes a threat, it would be “menacing” or “harassment” in NY State. And probably similarly in Vancouver.

You should film him, and post it on YouTube.

Possibly a crime, buuuuut, we deal with things internally down there as much as possible and don’t call the police unless they’re truly Needed to deal with a violent person or rapist type or something.

The community will just band together and kick someone off the beach and them up the stairs, possibly ban them etc depending on the offence. (Creepy perverts taking pics/vids of naked girls/people/kids etc learn real quick that they’d better not ever come back for their own safety.)

Other times people might agree to a fist fight (legal) and square off and go at it, “resolve,” their differences and then go their separate ways.

I’m not one to ever start a fight either by throwing the first punch or offering to fight, but if someone starts one with me I’ll finish it & they’ll regret it.

He doesn’t make a full time effort of vending, but the business he has enjoyed will suffer. I’ll see to that for sure by spreading the word about his conduct.

He’s also instantly banned from ever attending one of my friends’ parties that I work the door at. It’ll be funny if he buys a $40 ticket to the next one and I don’t let him in. Thanks for the donation to pay the djs and drummers!

He’ll probably still come to the beach, but he’ll have fewer friends and customers. I’ll make sure to remind people next Summer, too. I’m relentless like that.

Also, thanks all. Needed to vent here about it, too.

Wow. I'm kinda pissed off right now and just need to vent.

I had one friend basically tell me that if I were physically attacked, he'd defend me by all means (I know he would!) but that words are meaningless and I should just ignore them. (Ummm, harassment is a crime.. sexual orientation and gender identity are protected in the workplace via the BC Human Rights Code etc.)

A woman that runs one of the beach Facebook groups I shared my post calling him out publicly messaged to demand that I edit the photo to not show animal cruelty (It's a crude photoshop of the guys face on top of crocodile dundee or something that I screen shotted from his profile) - okaaaay.. and that I conceal his name. I was willing to black out the image of a crocodile that a man is sitting atop, but no, I'm not going to protect the identity of my abuser. The community deserves to know who he is. Further, he commented on my post on my profile (it's public) having a laugh, not denying or refuting anything I said because it's true.

Another friend that's here right now doing some mechanical work on my dad's truck and my car got oddly fired up about it and said if I had a problem with the guy I should have just punched him in the face then and there and resolved it and that I shouldn't be creating drama sharing the story about it. Ummm, what? The only acceptable reaction is physical violence and I shouldn't be sharing the story of this incident to both let others know who the guy really is And warn them of who he is ?

Clearly neither of these friends can comprehend what it's like to be on the receiving end of homophobic/transphobic abuse nor why I'd put the offender on blast so others know. It's very frustrating to have friends I'd like to still consider friends who seem to be telling me if it's not physical and I don't make it physical, it's nothing and I shouldn't have an issue with it nor be telling others. Sorry, that's not how any of this works. Victims of that sort of abuse shouldn't just shut up and take it. Others like myself, and easier targets being smaller/weaker etc, should know who this person is in order to avoid him. etc. IMO.



In some ways I hope that a**hole does start a fight with me someday.

Seems the law in Canada says you can in fact consent to a fist fight as long as you don't intentionally cause bodily harm: https://www.yyccriminaldefence.ca/stree ... ily%20harm.

So, basically, if you win it's over - you can't just smash someone while they're down or unconscious, or so excessively that the only reason you're doing it is to cause injury. But a few punches exchanged or maybe a lucky nose/jaw break is fully legal in the course of a consensual street fight. Good to know the ground rules in case he offers and I'm feeling particularly energetic in the moment.

^I was pretty fired up when I wrote that.

I didn’t ask him to clarify anything - not worth it. But thinking about it I don’t think he meant homophobia/transphobia specifically.

He just meant in general either punch someone in the face in the moment Or so nothing and carry on - which I disagree with because people shouting hateful things in peoples’ faces isn’t nothing And I don’t think that reacting with physical violence should be someone’s only recourse. We obviously don’t see eye to eye on this.

I would not call the police unless he made an actual serious threat, the expression or speech itself is more or less not grounds for conviction (even though I realize a lot of countries officially have hate laws). Besides, that might harbor even more resentment on the man's end.

Hmmm.. thought avoiding violence was the goal of discrimination laws … not physical altercations.
But am not a Canadian . So am not qualified to speak on this topic .
It seems that if a disabled person is verbally attacked , what are their recourses, to engage in a fist fight , to which the odds are very much against him. Very odd situation to me.

If we encourage physical violence in all instances, then we would devolved to the days of the barbarians.

I believe exposing this person for what he’s done is much better than punching him. Much more effective.

you should have recorded him and upload it to the internet for everyone to see