Mom broke up with her bf, not sure which one kept the cats.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
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Location: Somewhere in Colorado
So I heard my mom and her boyfriend broke it off, but not sure which one kept the cats. For the background the cats in question came to us while they were together. He actually convinced my mom we should keep the stray but friendly cat that was hanging around. We moved down closer to the city and brought the cat, she was pregnant and had kittens and so we kept them and the mom, but then got them all fixed. So my mom and her bf where living together and taking care of the cats with me and my brothers help till we moved out. So now they have broken up, and she moved out from living with him but not sure which one kept the cats. And well I mean I am kind of attached to those cats so would like to at least be able to visit them. But idk how akward it would be if they decided for him to keep the cats, because if nothing else I'd like to see them one more time at least. Also though I mean he has been my moms boyfriend since I was like 17 and I am 32 now, so like over time I have accepted him as part of my life and I am kind of sad that they broke up, even though I never like super liked the guy I am still kind of sad about it. Also he borrowed me a book about Pink Floyd that I still have and wanted to return, and I had a book about them as well that I had read and was going to donate to a thrift store but thought he might want....so I had wanted to return him that book as well as see if he wanted the one I was looking to give away.
But idk I think the first step would be talking to my mom to find out like more of how they broke up like if it was amicable and like if they are still in contact as friends or whatever. But otherwise, like if it was a less than friendly break up would it be weird if I reached out to him on my own to at least return that book, see if he wants the book I was going to donate and maybe get to see the cats at least one more time if he is the one who kept them?
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Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
You can take the books back anyway.
Whatever happened between the guy and your Mum... That is their decision. Does not really stop you from visiting him even if it is just to take the books back.
Yes. Speak to your Mum first. Good idea. Be aware that she may be hurting and that the guy may also be hurting so if you do get a negative response do not take it personally.
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Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Whatever happened between the guy and your Mum... That is their decision. Does not really stop you from visiting him even if it is just to take the books back.
Yes. Speak to your Mum first. Good idea. Be aware that she may be hurting and that the guy may also be hurting so if you do get a negative response do not take it personally.
Yeah I'll tread carefully and not be pushy about all the details or whatever...I just want to know where things stand with it. Well and also if they are both ok.
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
I've dealt with extremely complicated familyish relations.
I wouldn't know where to begin with the stories.
Your loyalty is with your mother (I'm sure that goes without saying).
Ask her if she would be upset about you returning the book or offering the other book.
Ask her who has the cats.
Perhaps she's gone no-contact with him or she doesn't want you keeping contact.
Maybe she won't mind at all.
Loss of pet custody is one of the worst parts of a breakup.
How many cats are there?
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