When your own parents are the bullies

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Visit went fine until it ended badly at the very last minute.

An important note here is that I can't drive the 100 miles to my parents' town, so a caregiver from Hometown Homecare had been hired. Evann had driven the trip a time or two before too.

Brought to mind the time at Mom & Dad's 50th wedding anniversary in Branson about a decade back when my younger brother Wes was driving us and some other family around in Mom & Dad's vehicle.

Mom became increasing critical of Wes' driving until the point where she was chewing him out for driving with the headlights off after dark - while the headlights were shining on the car in front of us.

After the car ahead of us went a different direction and we continued through a wooded area Mom doubled down on her claim that Wes was driving with the headlights off.
So he turned them off and back on, maybe more than once.
"See. Off. On."

Watch was fascinating in a sad sort of way to see in Mom's words and what I could see of her face from an angle one side behind, to watch her process and then dismiss that demonstration so she could stay on her established accusatory path.

I was sitting in middle of seat behind them, so I had a good look at the whole thing.

(and speaking of looking, in looking at social media and the news I wonder how widespread the above behavior is in society generally.)

Wes reached his point of 'That's Enough', pulled over, turned of the motor, got out, tossed the keys either in driver seat or at her, cussed her out, and invited her to drive since she though he was so shittily incompetent at driving.

Anyway ...

The ME/CFS fatigue started hitting and I hadn't been able to sleep well the night before so a decision was made to head back to my town a little bit early.

Right when we were leaving a thing which has gone on since the late 1970s reached its "THAT IS ENOUGH!" point with me.

Dad had finally got the message years ago when it was asked, once again, if that's any kind of appropriate attitude for teachers and parents to have.
And Mom was there for that because we 3 and 1 or 2 of someone else were all in a car together, I forget exactly where or when.
Mom, however has remained true to the form recounted about Wes's experience above.


As we were saying goodbyes something brought to mind when I was in high school in Georgia and really struggling in Algebra.

To the point where Mom & Dad had hired a tutor.

Yet the Algebra teacher gal mocked and ridiculed me to the whole class including one specific example, asking me whether I was there to learn or was I just taking up space.

Mom relayed to Evann how funny she thought that was.

Okay, this needs to end and after all these years, all these decades, nothing yet has gotten through Mom's thick head.

This ends.

This ends now.

Whatever it takes.

I took the bag of food out to the van to hopefully decompress a bit.

Nope, no decompression, the layers of hurt about this since the 1970s have now overflowed the cup.

This ends.

And it ends right here and it ends right now.

Whatever It Takes.

I went back inside.

Umm, excuse me, your kid is having trouble in a class to the point you hire a tutor but when the teacher ridicules and demeans your kid to to the whole class, you think it is funny?

And you have insisted on regularly telling visitors that since the late 1970s?

You've been asked to stop and refused to stop?

Dad got understanding years ago.

YOU however ...

What a sh***y parent you are, the only thing I have left to say to you is, you f*****g b***h.

I should have bitchslapped her but instead I just told her what a b***h she is.

And I went back out and got in the van.
In the driver seat.
Well, anyway, though totally undesired, I now had enough adrenaline running for it to overpower the ME/CFS and to be able to burn it off driving halfway home.

A few moments later Evann from Hometown Homecare came out. I said to her that I'm driving while the adrenaline lasts then we'll switch off.
Went to get gas, clean the windows, then headed off the 100 miles home.
We switched drivers at the John Deere dealer on Hwy 13 before my adrenaline ran out in the middle of the road.

The stretch of travel on I-70 was interesting. She had to work around several vehicles pulling over to shoulder; a couple police and towing vehicles on shoulder; and a stepladder which fell off a utility truck ahead of us.


I don't know what it is with Mom but after you have communicated with her civilly Multiple Times and gotten no results until you get nasty with her she will come back and say that if you had started by communicating with her civily instead of saying nothing until the explosion there would have been no need for the explosion.

No, Mom.

BS, Mom.

The nastiness is required, by you, because of you, because multiple cases of civily saying, 'Is that appropriate?' went in one ear and out the other.

Again.