Why am I so easily emotionally manipulated?

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I'm always feeling guilt for other people. If someone is rude to me at work then they are nice the next minute I feel bad for feeling upset with them when they were last rude. So I could think "I hate that person for speaking to me unkindly" then when they're nice I think "aw, they're all right really." Maybe I forgive easily.

I also feel guilty if I stand up for myself. People tell me that just because I'm an adult it means I should know how to stand up for myself when I'm being treated poorly by someone. It's not that I don't know how to, it's just that I'm not brave enough and I feel things too deeply and I am always feeling guilty. Sometimes I do stand up for myself but then it escalates into an argument that goes round in circles, and I don't like bickering with people that I see every day at work. Maybe I'm afraid of the outcome. Maybe I'm afraid they'll win and I'll look silly. Maybe taking verbal abuse is easier than making an enemy.

No, I'm not leaving my job because of this.

I guess because you don’t want conflict.

Well I sort of stood up for myself today when the supervisor was rude to me and it just made matters worse, which I knew it would.

It seems that some people think they can treat you how they like but when you fight back they don't like it.

I also have ADHD and in conflict situations tend to either do nothing or get verbally aggressive. I struggle to be calmly assertive.

I was calmly assertive. Then I went and cried my eyes out in the bathroom. I don't like people seeing me cry because I'm scared they'll mistake it for attention/sympathy-seeking. But I can't help crying. No matter how much I smile and tell myself I'm OK and try to distract myself with tasks, if I'm going to cry I'm going to cry. The tears start leaking out my eyes.

To me crying is like vomiting. You know how when you're about to vomit it is physically impossible to stop yourself? It's the same when I want to cry. I cannot push my feelings down and be brave or hard. I am an emotional wreck and I'm thinking of upping my antidepressants. All I do is cry lately. Maybe it's because I lost my mother this time last year and Christmas coming just brings it all home and makes me emotional.
But people don't understand that. I'm scared they'll just say things like "you're just playing the victim!", "stop trying to seek attention!", and "stop being such a wimpy crybaby!"

Then you've got nothing to feel guilty about.

There's nothing wrong with crying. I get tears in my eyes when I'm having a panic attack but don't actually cry. I wish I could have a good sob to release some pent up emotion.

But I am guilty because the man at work wanted to be the big I Am and now that I took him down a peg or two he is all pissy with me and I feel awkward, and it created an atmosphere and he's probably telling everyone his side of the story and playing the victim.

That guilty feeling and arguing is actually emotional manipulation. They want you to feel bad so they can get away with being jerks.

There are comebacks for manipulators

For when example, you could say “I am sorry you feel that way.” If they want fo blame you for getting mad at them, you can also tell them. “You know what, I don’t have time right now, can we talk later?”

I did that with a friend a few days ago after she let me down and tried to both manipulate me and shift the blame.

I've been up all night so far worrying about how I'm going to approach this conflict at work. I'm scared that if I make an official complaint to the union rep it might make things worse, and I might get accused of overreacting. I have ADHD and we can get very sensitive to criticism and our own feelings and the feelings of others too, so people in authority can seem more intimidating than they are.
And if he speaks all nicely to me then I'll feel guilty for grassing on him.

I just think it's the same results whatever I do. Maybe I should consider working from home so that I don't have to deal with bossy supervisors who think they can speak to you how they like and emotionally manipulate you into feeling how they want you to feel.
But sometimes I wonder if these people are really aware of what they're saying. They may say something that triggers you without knowing or understanding that it's triggered you, so it can end up looking like you're the problem and not them.

I wouldn't complain tbh. It might make things worse. You stood your ground as is your right. Now let him deal with it like a grown up.

Going to HR is the wrong move…full stop.

It's really awkward today. He isn't talking to me now, just storms past me and probably thinks I'm an arrogant jerk. He goes out for drinks with a man from head management so he'll probably tell him, plus exaggerations, which will just make everything worse. It isn't easy dealing with situations like this when you're stupid and weak like me.

I just feel like the world is against me at the moment. The internet hates me because I am a bigoted f**k. I had an argument with my boyfriend over his drinking. I'm being treated like s**t at work. If I feel any emotions at all I will be accused of manipulating. How do I tackle all this logically? I'm crying out for help, not hate.

I know the feeling----everything coming upon you all at once.

I do wish your boyfriend would at least limit his drinking.

He'll get over it. Just try not to get into any arguments with him.

I'm trying to deal with it maturely. But I feel that everything I do is wrong. If I am civil to him it might look like I'm manipulating him into forgetting it and liking me. If I confront him, well, that's no good, I know that.

I'm just not very good at dealing with all this.

Big effin deal if he thinks you're being manipulative. The best thing to do within a job context is to be civil.