Kitty4670 wrote:
I had a big meltdown, cuz of responsibility & less help, I have a friend that helps me with my apartment cleaning, trash & she wash my clothes, I need more help in life, she not enough, she has job, she in this country with a work visa, she can’t come much cuz of new year day & her birthday coming up soon, she wants to spend it with her other friend, making me feel very mad & really hating life, she didn’t understand why I got so upset, I wish I can explain things right. When I had my meltdown, I wanted to die, I keep saying to myself that I want to die, I was in my bedroom putting stuff away, I was sitting on my bed, my cat was on my bed too, I asked her to bite me so I could hurt myself. I really hate feeling alone.
I wish there was a way i could help, that sounds so tough. It's not your fault that you are unable to express yourself sometimes, especially during meltdowns. It's the worst feeling, i know.
Your friend sounds like a nice person, try not to get mad at her. I understand the urge to get mad when your needs aren't met, but your friend probably also has her own problems herself.