This may sound a bit of a stupid question to ask but I feel I have heard time the sayings used by people like ''live your best life'', ''live life to the full'', ''You haven't lived life until you have done this'' etc. What it seems to conjure up in my head when I hear these sayings is that I by now have had travelled the world to most countries the world, seeing all the iconic sights and have a large number of friends to enjoy it with lots of selfies at parties or by the swimming pool at a sunny beach resort somewhere and also doing lots of risk-taking adrenaline-rushing activities which sometimes I'm not really keen on doing mainly due to heights but I don't really have a phobia of heights though. I have only been to at least 5 out 195 countries in the last 6 or 7 years and I went to only 4 countries when I was a baby and a kid.
I seem to think I should have been one of those people who was excited to leave school and then go to uni and see the world and not have anxiety get in the way or having the autistic brain telling me not to go because it is outside my usual routine and comfort zone. I now look back and feel bad that I didn't go to New York with my business studies class at sixth form and that I didn't go to Amsterdam with uni class for the same reason. I can't understand why wasn't I one of those people like my stepbrother who went with just his girlfriend to some holidays abroad or someone who was confident enough to go and fly on their own to somewhere exciting when I have only been abroad with the family and never on my own.
14 Mar 2023, 5:36 pm
