I had a panic attack and quit my job.

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Lost_dragon
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05 Apr 2023, 5:02 pm

Yup. The stress got too much. It was quite bad.

I saw the red flags when I applied to the job, but I was desperate and thought I could handle things. Now I realise that there is a certain strength in knowing when to walk away from a situation.



Feel free to post something silly in this thread. I could do with a laugh. :P


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SharonB
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05 Apr 2023, 7:59 pm

Glad you are out. I hope you are mostly in one piece.

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Persephone29
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05 Apr 2023, 8:39 pm

I think this probably happens a lot. I was diagnosed late (age 50), I have done this countless times and never understood why.


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MatchboxVagabond
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05 Apr 2023, 9:41 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
Yup. The stress got too much. It was quite bad.

I saw the red flags when I applied to the job, but I was desperate and thought I could handle things. Now I realise that there is a certain strength in knowing when to walk away from a situation.



Feel free to post something silly in this thread. I could do with a laugh. :P


I walked off the job once over some stupid BS. They were whining that I was putting the extra 3 minutes a day that I was working on my time slip even though the time got rounded down to being 0 extra minutes of work. It was just so petty. There wasn't a single time that it led to me actually making any additional money either.

This is why I built up roughly 3 months worth of income in my emergency fund. I can quit my job and not immediately need to start working the next payperiod.



Double Retired
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05 Apr 2023, 9:50 pm

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beady
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05 Apr 2023, 10:12 pm

Hugs for you. It's gonna be okay. Take a break. Rest your soul for now.



beady
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05 Apr 2023, 10:15 pm

Pepe
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06 Apr 2023, 2:31 am

You were very unhappy in the job, pretty much from the start, IIRC.



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06 Apr 2023, 2:58 am

Be careful. You could get fired for quitting your job! :D

I remember hearing about a guy who had bought a new dog. He took it to his local pub and someone said it was an odd looking dog, but he said it could fight any other dog and win. Someone said their dog was unbeaten so they brought their dog and their dog backed down frightened!
As a bet was placed he paid up and said "I agree that is is a wierd looking dog though. Maybe it was that reason why my dog backed down?"
The new dog owner said "He looked even wierder until I shaved off his mane".

The thing is armageddon is not the end of the world. Quitting is the start of something else.

I admired my Dad who worked in the same job for over 30 years, (This is true) and every day my Mum made him black current jam sandwiches and an orange for his lunch. About a week before he had to retire early (Due to ill health) my dad asked "Can I have something other than blackcurrent jam in my sandwiches?" My Mum said "You asked for blackcurrent jam". My Dad said "That was thirty years ago!"
But my Dads tastes had changed when the doctor gave him steroid tablets to take.

But I remember a thing about three workers at a construction site who sat on the fram of a tall building and they opened their sandwiches up, and the first said "Ham again? If my wife gives me ham again tomorrow I am going to jump!" And the other " Jam again. I am going to join you! " The third... "Cheese again....!"

Anyway, the next day came and they all jumped to their deaths. Then came their funefals and their wives were upset and the one said "If I only knew I would have given him something else!" "So would I" said the second mans wife. "But he never said".
The third mans wife said "I can understand your two husbands jumping but mine made his own sandwiches!"

(That was a joke. No sandwiches were harmed... The one about my Dad though was true. I don't think he ate a single blackcurrent sandwich after he left work).


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klanka
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06 Apr 2023, 3:49 am

Hope it works out for ya



Lost_dragon
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06 Apr 2023, 4:31 am

Pepe wrote:
You were very unhappy in the job, pretty much from the start, IIRC.


Unfortunately, this is correct. I kept telling myself take the job for the experience. Keep going for the experience. You are doing this for your CV.

However, I was never happy. You are doing this for your CV turned into keep going until you find a new job and then run. I was constantly exhausted though. So I didn't have the energy to job hunt properly. I was falling asleep not long after coming in from work most days.

Things kept getting worse. It was the type of environment that was so close-knit I couldn't get any emotional support. Booking time off was set up in such an ineffective way that it often deterred me from doing so even when I really needed a break. I did take some time off, but quite rarely. Ultimately though, there's a saying - if you don't choose a day off, your body will do it for you.

I didn't like how my co-workers treated me at work. The usual. You'd be prettier if you smiled more or comments about how I could use my femininity in video games to get money from men. There was a guy who made inappropriate comments about my body. I laughed it off but I was uncomfortable. Yet I was in a situation where I couldn't report his behaviour. It would have been his word against mine and he had connections I simply didn't.

There was always a sense of otherness. I didn't fit in to the culture. The way they often talked reminded me of secondary school. Especially the homophobic jokes. I chalked it up to immaturity. The world isn't always kind. I was already well aware. Yet my past experiences made me cautious to correct the behaviour. I was uncomfortably reminded of some not so pleasant memories. Unfortunately, I am often stuck in a loop of my confidence dangerously going up and down. It's something that I've been trying to work through.

At first, I was able to switch off from work when I left. I gradually lost that ability through time. My workload kept building and building and building. I couldn't switch off from work anymore. To the point where I had really looked forward to this event I had planned, but I couldn't even enjoy it. I felt resentful. Angry. As if I had no control over my life anymore. I was depressed.

My boss was verbally abusive and HR didn't care. When he called me a waste of money...incompetent... lazy... good for nothing - I was reminded of my old school counsellor who once screamed at me for 'not being normal' and told me that I would never amount to anything. The way my brain made that connection was uncomfortable but I understand why it did. Almost felt like Deja vu.

That's when everything started to crumble. I tried to keep going, but as the work piled up I was pushed too far. My brain disconnected. I felt physically hot and nauseous. The room seemed to spin. I had indigestion (very common when I'm stressed). I curled up and cried. I couldn't stop shaking. My stomach hurt. I couldn't think properly. I was struggling to breathe. It was horrible. My boss asked if I could do this job and I said no. Because I couldn't. He didn't fire me, but he said I should quit. Which isn't far off.

I'm just glad it's over. Now I just need to make it official. At least I have plenty of time off to cover my notice! 8)


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Last edited by Lost_dragon on 06 Apr 2023, 4:43 am, edited 2 times in total.

Pepe
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06 Apr 2023, 4:39 am

Lost_dragon wrote:


That's when everything started to crumble. I tried to keep going, but as the work piled up I was pushed too far. My brain disconnected. I felt physically hot and nauseous. The room seemed to spin. I had indigestion (very common when I'm stressed). I curled up and cried. I couldn't stop shaking. My stomach hurt. I couldn't think properly. I was struggling to breathe. It was horrible. My boss asked if I could do this job and I said no. Because I couldn't.

I'm just glad it's over.


Yes, it is a relief when you quit a toxic workplace.
You might wonder later why you waited so long.

Time to recover. :wink:



klanka
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06 Apr 2023, 5:12 am

Wow , you made a good move there. Were you doing programming?

That kind of stress/bullying can mess you up if you're exposed to it for too long.

You can tell your next employer what happened and they'll not think anything less of you.



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06 Apr 2023, 5:13 am

Well done!
Good for you I am proud of you.
Self-care is one of my favourite aspects of life and absolutely essential.
They didn't deserve you sweetie :heart:



KitLily
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06 Apr 2023, 6:58 am

Good for you.

What happens when we leave our job is that they just find another worker.

What happens when we have health problems is they affect our lives forever.

It's better to take care of your own health than worry about some job.


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SharonB
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06 Apr 2023, 8:38 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
My boss was verbally abusive and HR didn't care. ... It was horrible. My boss asked if I could do this job and I said no.


Answer (b) Not with A-holes like you!!

You've probably read that the job I quit, the VP said to my face "Women don't want this job" ---- I wasn't ready to say it, but all I could think was, yeah, what NT woman would stand this BS for more than a minute, I can't believe I tolerated it for years (b/c I was trying to improve it, hahahahahaha, commendable silly me). I was having increased migraines and nerve issues towards the end. Cleared up afterwards! Wishing you mental (and any physical) healing.