Holding grudges against uppity and arrogant people

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Hi:
Earlier today, I had a chance to slow down and discover who I have been holding a grudge against. It came to me that I tend to hold them with people who I associated with at one point or another. What I discovered is that these are people who are stuck up or something think the are superior to me in one way or another.

Does anyone else know what I am talking about?

yes, i know what you are talking about.

some precious lil "people" act so "holier than thou". they are condescending (to me). they make fun of me. they bother me.

a meditation instructor told me "holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."

correct. however, i have been holding grudges since 12. forty years old right now. some of the people that i hold grudges against are already dead. that doesn't stop me from holding grudges against them.

maybe i would be healthier if i did not hold grudges, than if i did hold grudges. (fine).

but 40 is already middle aged, so whatever.

Yes.

I still have bad feelings against the snobs and bullies from K-12 school, even though some of them have died.

I never wanted to be 'superior' to them.  I just wanted them to like me.

Yes.

Although in hindsight I often wonder if I've came off as rude, snarky or arrogant myself with at least some of those people.

Sometimes someone rubs you the wrong way, but sometimes it's each of you rubbing each other.

I don't spend enough time with uppity, arrogant people to form grudges. I know that sounds simplistic but it's true. I know people like that and it's annoying, but for the most part I just distance myself even if they're family.

My grudges are against people who hurt my children, any children, vulnerable humans, my friends, or animals.
Yes some of my friends are vulnerable animals.

Mess with them and there'll be Hell to pay.
Mess with me --I'll likely just laugh and keep walking.

TBH, I used to feel that way, a lot, lot, lot, but I've pretty much completely lost interest in most of that BS as it never really did anything to improve my life. Most of the time, it's just easier to let them just go on and deal with the consequences of those sorts of behaviors. But, even then, most of the time I can't say that it really affects me either way, and the behavior would probably stop if enough other people stopped caring as well. I mostly just feel kind of sorry for folks like that.

I don't mind know-it-alls and so-called arrogant people because I don't generally perceive this as some form of one upping like most people do.

If they are so-called superior, why not benefit from them? I can do that.
But if they cannot take a question... I'll just be disappointed than resentful.


Loud types however just rubs me the wrong way. Though I sort of know why is this. The reason is complicated and enumerating would take more time.
Still not enough to form a grudge over, just annoying. Doesn't matter if they are a know it all or a simple person who happened to be loud.


Those who demands 'respect' without ever knowing me, without ever earning it however -- this is who I will hold grudge over.

To me it means they're disillusioned over their stupid expectations. Meeting those expectations means walking on eggshells and tip toeing with stupid ideas about 'politenedd'.
That a good part of the social norms are just enabling them enough to demand it from just about everyone.

One of the few types of people I can truly hate because they buy into this idea that a certain achievement, power or social status would warrant them respect.

And I hate people who power trips others into 'humbleness' or 'politeness'.

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I get annoyed with know-it-alls. I'm a know-nothing so I can never win with a know-it-all.

Holding grudges isn't something I do. It's hard for me to imagine holding on to something for a long time. Mostly because my anger.tends to evaporate fairly quickly. Well and my memory is garbage so ill.forget about it anyway.

Dont care for arrogance and unkind people so I try to minimize my limit my contact with those types of people.

I’m wondering what constitutes holding a grudge - it’s a just a mindset of anger?

Seems to me that the would be a useful mechanism for protecting yourself from certain people and future people who were similar.

I’m not angry but I don’t forget

The Best Revenge Is To Live Well.

That's the advice I got once and I stick with it because it always works. People who hurt me can stew in their own juice for all I care, I just move forward and live as well as I can.

I expect I appear as a know-it-all but it's because I genuinely enjoy giving information and sharing knowledge with people. I'm not trying to be superior, I just enjoy talking about ideas and information.

I don't like closed-minded people who continue to do the same thing 'just because that's the way we've always done it'. There is often a better way.