well now I'm scared to drive

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I couldn't find my old thread.

Had third driving lesson today. (Missed last week cuz too exhausted and cancelled the lesson.)

I did better than on the second lesson (where I nearly crashed), but was terribly nervous the whole time. My instructor had me driving down a long road with little traffic, lots of curves. We did go through a neighborhood at one point. While in the neighborhood, I struggled to not get too close to the mailboxes and at one point I completely spaced out and almost did hit one. (Instructor yelled out "stop" and I hit the breaks. She asked what I was thinking to make me space out, but honestly my mind was pretty much just a blank.)

I'm beginning to question if my ADHD symptoms are such that I just shouldn't drive.

If I can drive with my degree of EF impairment, there's a good chance you'll be able to learn as well.

It took me forever to get 'over the hump' when it came to anxiety (given the gravity of the task at hand) as well as with maintaining situational awareness.

It's really hard at first because the task of driving the car and controlling anxiety basically fills the plate. It took quite awhile to get to the point that actually driving the car wasn't really on my plate anymore; that took many hours of experience, combined with some intentional practice of how to deal with a loss of control. Empty parking lots are good for learning that skill set.

Once my skills and anxieties related to them were largely resolved I could instead allow stuff like maintaining situational awareness could be my main focus.

Cars and driving became a special interest to me after a year or two of driving, that might have helped. Then again, it might happen to you too.



I think that sort of driving is better suited to the ADHD brain though. You never get the chance to get distracted.

I focus best with loud music playing while I sing along like a fool. It lets me kind of zone out into fantasy land when driving, meaning I don't get distracted by anything but staring at the road ahead of me. It sounds counterintuitive but it works for me. When I can't have music I feel like everything around me becomes a distraction. Maybe I'm sensory-seeking in that regard when I drive.

I'm ASD2, ADHD-C.

I learned when I was 17 before I was old enough to realise how dangerous it was. I've always been fine, even driving in very adverse conditions, ice and deep snow. You'll get used to it. The more you drive, the less you'll think about it. It will become second nature.

I'm really sensory seeking but I pretty much can't drive with music. I find being able to hear what's going on with the car forces me to maintain focus.

But to OP, everyone's different so you'll need to figure out what helps and what hurts for you.



This. 100% this. The more seat time you get, the better.

I'm not really able to drive unless traffic is very light because I can't handle paying attention to several moving things at once, like when making left turns or changing lanes.

But as far as the problem you described, my long-time-ago driving instructor was very helpful. When I was worried about side-swiping other cars he said, "You just have to stay in your lane. Pay no attention to the other cars or anything else that isn't in your lane. Pay attention to your lane." The other thing he said was, "You are only responsible for the piece of road in front of you. Don't worry about what other cars are doing."

(He did also say to always calmly scan the road ahead, as well as what is slightly to either side, ahead of you, just to make sure no one is about to do something unexpected like cut you off or step in front of your car.)

I find it easier for learners to drive on busier roads because they can just copy / follow the car in front for speed and lane placement. Driving alone on quiet roads is a lot harder when there's no "follow the leader" feeling.

I drive but don’t do good in heavy traffic in strange areas.I get anxiety badly.
On the dirt roads it’s rally time!!

Lane placement is definitely a struggle for me. The car I'm practicing with beeps when you go over lines, but most cars don't have that feature.

I've never given it a go. I know I couldn't cope, I have a hard enough time concentrating on crossing the road safely and if I had a bump then I couldn't deal with getting out and talking to the other person, calling for a breakdown service etc. If somebody sounded their horn at me it would take me weeks to get over it, I'd be replaying it in my head constantly.

I struggled with that at first. It was hard to maintain both a steady lane position and a steady speed.

You'll get it though, even if it takes awhile and feels discouraging.

If I thought about driving like that I'd have never gotten a license; some of those are bridges that can be crossed if and when you reach them.

I think I drove for >5 years before I had a breakdown, I walked to a payphone and called CAA. I've had two (total) in ~ 20 years.

I've had to exchange details with someone once. They were surprisingly pleasant to interact with.

If you live in fear of every potential negative scenario it's easy to talk yourself out of ever doing anything.

I don't drive, and have no wish to learn.