You may have noticed some of these persistent threads I was writing about not driving to far off places and music festivals on my own and things like that. I was writing all of this while on a bus to and from a shopping centre and I feel as though I shouldn't have been going out in a bad mood and I had thoughts of comparing myself to others again especially as there were a lot of younger people around going out with friends, girlfriends/boyfriends etc. I also feel bad because I was unable to find a father's Day present and tried to phone up for ideas but kept getting unavailable on my phone and no one rang me back.
When I got home and had dinner, I hardly said a word at the dinner table and no one asked me what was wrong probably because they were out as well, my mum was helping my sister out and has a bad hip. Her partner has been at work and both are probably too tired to chat about any issues I have and so didn't even come up and ask after dinner what was wrong.
Now I feel quite emotional and have an early start in the morning for work and I don't feel like going in a bad mood. I feel like I'll just end up bringing it into work. Not really want to interact with both my colleagues and customers and don't want to be there but I know I can't because otherwise my colleague will be on her own.
16 Jun 2023, 4:50 pm
