Small Talk / Can't Relate

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TrueDave
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07 Aug 2007, 10:39 pm

Small talk to me seems too much like an argument. Imean to make things interesting I try to present an alternative view on a really simple issue. I had a friend that used to do that, he did it to maintain a false air of superiority. I just don't see the point of : "did you watch that TV show?"/" Yes I did it was funny." I mean talk about closed ended questions.
But , small talk is suupposed to be just that. No deep stuff.
I miss my parents being alive. When I would go to visit it was relaxing. (Of course I couldn't wait to move out to begin with.) My mother is the only persoin I could sit at the kitchen table for an hour and listen to her speak without any input from me. My father I could sit with for hours in silence and not feel the need to say a thing.
I have never found this outside of my parents.



juliekitty
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08 Aug 2007, 12:40 am

The main thing to remember is that the conversation is never really about the subject you're discussing.

It's all simply about establishing and re-establishing, "We are friendly towards each other".

For some reason, NT's feel the need to do this over and over ad nauseam.

I find it very tiring too, but I've learned to do it just to get along.



Ikari_Gendo
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15 Aug 2007, 7:57 am

A few simple things to remember.

1. People like to talk about themselves, so ask them about themselves.

2. Don't ask about things they won't be comfortable talking about. Work, school, hobbies, pets, and weather are usually safe subjects.

3. Let them talk. Conversation is exhausting if you are tying to carry it by yourself. Let them lead, relax, nod, say "I see".

4. You won't be quizzed over this. There is no test.

5. If they're talking about stuff you have no interest in at all, smile and think about something else.



michel
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19 Aug 2007, 2:30 pm

Small talk's only value is to lubricate social interactions. It makes NTs feel better, puts them at ease. Just accept it as a given.