Why Is This...

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Why is it that in real life people find it hard to believe that women are capable of sexual abuse.

I had this discussion yesterday with my T. I was explaining to him that I used to wear boys clothes and look like a boy because I was protecting myself. He immediately assumed I meant I was protecting myself from men. I had to spell out to him that some women also have a thing for little girls.

If I'd have gone to the social services as a child and said that my dad was hurting me they would have been all over it but because I went and told them my mother was hurting me they more or less called me a liar and took her side of things.

I don't understand that even when it's all over the news that women are capable of sexual abuse on children people still find it hard to accept.

It beggars my belief.

The same reason they used to think that women can’t be serial killers or rapists.
People don’t want to believe the bearers of life can be evil.The world wants to think women are sugar and spice and everything nice and it’s just not true.

I hate it. It's the reason why I've not been able to open up about what happened to me for so long. I tried to talk about a sexual assault by a female on me many years ago and the therapist at that time more or less told me that this is impossible so I just didn't speak of it again for fear of nobody believing me. It's so frustrating. It was a serious assault as well.

Ugh you poor thing Babybird. I'm sorry that happened.

My mum did not physically abuse me but she was horrendously cruel in her words and actions towards me. e.g. leaving me in dangerous situations, also my daughter. Keeping food from me when I was very hungry. When I was happy and strong, she was okay, but when I was ill/ pregnant/ depressed/ low in other ways, she pounced! She smelled blood in the water, like a shark, and attacked.

But no one believed that this saintly woman who had worked for 30 years with disabled children, could be like that. Even though she said privately to me that she became a teacher because she thought the job would give her enough money to live a good life. No mention of helping children!

Anyway, sorry to talk about myself! But I agree with you- people can't believe women can be cruel and abusive. But obviously it happens, look at Myra Hindley, Rosemary West etc.

* solidarity *

Thank you all for your support. I just need the courage to be able to try and talk about this incident again and I think you have helped me with that.

I suppose it's because statistically crimes like that are committed by more men than women but it doesn't mean women never do it, so people shouldn't dismiss a victim just because their abuser was a woman.

I think that women are just as likely to commit these crimes as men but it's just that they get reported less for the very reason that I'm talking about.

I have no idea why some people think this way. It's probably a kind of denial due to the reasons MissLizard stated.

In fact you just have to hang around with a group of women long enough to realise how bitchy, vicious and cruel they can be to each other, to know women are not always innocent, kindly, sweet etc. The things women say to each other when men aren't there! But the minute a man walks into the room, it's all sweetness and light

I doubt it's related to what BB is on about, but my GF said that schoolgirl bullying is evil (I've heard all her stories and it was shocking)

Yes, it really is. I think the bullying shows that BB is right- women are capable of terrible things as much as men are.

I knew a man that was raped by the town tramp while he was dead drunk.He passed out in a chair and later awakened to his fly open and her playing with his knob.He was not able to consent in that state.She molested him and got away with it because nobody would believe him if he reported it.

That's just horrendous.

It seems to be one of many attitudes that all reflect that our society doesn't seem to get that women have full agency when it comes to sexual matters.

We assume they can't really be creeps.
We assume they can't be predatory.
We assume they can't pursue sex without some other motive that isn't sex.
ect.

When I was at school I was scared of some of the girls, especially when they confronted me and shouted at me. Boys seemed sillier in their actions, while girls were serious and evil. When I tried to make friends with other outcast girls they tried hiding their social awkwardness by being bitchy, while I noticed that outcast boys seemed to get together with other outcast/nerdy boys and they stuck together in their own group and hid out in the library. But the more I tried to fit in with my own kind the more I failed and got picked on by my own kind, because they wanted to be like everyone else and turned bitchy to hide their insecurities.