Family Drama.

Post Reply New Topic

Idk my brother has acted immature a bit at things and sometimes does try to get all the attention on him. So as a result my sister is kind of not wanting him to be at her baby shower...its her brother too, but I guess she feels like he always tries to make everything about himself and so she's worried if hes at the baby shower like idk she wants it to be about her and her baby and she's worried my brother will somehow make it all about him or get offended by something and throw a bit of a fit and she just does not want to worry about that, so she's decided not to invite him.


But i just feel bad, I am the oldest of those siblings and I do love my brother to, but I love my sister and idk I understand why she does not want him there, but also the solution cannot be that she just never invites him to anything and we all just keep him out of the loop, thats like temporary at some point, well it'll probably have to be me and my boyfriend who talk to my brother about it and let him know some of the family is concerned about his attitudes and behavior idk I just feel like me and my bf are going to somehow be talked into doing an intervention with him, but idk maybe he does need something like that. He's not addicted to drugs, he's just kind of irresponsible and lives a bit like a mooch but not sure how you intervene for something like that. He is working and my mom is letting him stay in her house but I don't think she is charging him rent, like idk if at some point a family talk should be done. But right now my sister is pregnant so she is just trying to plan things with people who wont stress her out Idk I guess i am just also sad my brother was being so immature or dumb that now my sister doesn't even want him at the baby shower because she's worried he'll make it all about him somehow and she just wants it to be a thing for her and the baby and her husband and is worried our brother might get a little too carried away making things about himself and my sister doesn't want so much distraction....Idk I just want everyone to get along but apparently my sister and her husband aren't entirely happy with my brothers behavior like I don't think they hate him but, also I don't think they really want to hang out much with him.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

Back in the day males didn't get invited to baby showers, so your brother can probably handle not being invited without too much heartbreak. But also, if it hurts his feelings maybe that can motivate him towards thinking about why he was excluded and to try to change his behaviour at least a bit before it causes more serious problems for him.

Well his phone is off cause he probably hasn't been paying for it, so this time it probably could also be said they just could not get ahold of him. But yeah for those two I don't think they are doing the traditional women only at the baby shower thing.....but for even so he probably wont think much of it especially if they missed inviting him because he doesn't have a phone number to reach him at right now. But idk I didn't realize his behavior was really getting so bad like people don't want to be around him because they don't know when he might throw a fit or make a big deal about nothing if he randomly gets offended. Like for perspective he is like 30 and for a white elephant gift exchange he got way too buthurt about a 10 year old stealing his white elephant gift, and then when he chose an alternative gift that ended up being a blanket I guess he sort of threw it down and refused to take it(cause he didn't need another blanket), even though he was going to some party with his friends after and he could have just taken the blanket he didnt want and gifted it to whoever the otehr party he was going to was for.

But nah for sure he was an a**hole that time, so yeah idk maybe he does need a bit of reality to kick him in the ass to make him think why people may be getting put off on hanging out with him. Cause yeah I love him as he is my little brother but, Jeeze he can't keep acting like a butthole like this and expect people to still want to spend time with him. I guess I just didn't realize how much of a butthole he was being till my sister and her husband also mentioned it. But yeah of course I feel bad because I don't for me specifically have a reason to not hang out with him, he hasn't really done anything to me but if I did hang out with him I might have a hard time not trying to ask him or adress why he is acting the way he is. I mean he is my little brother and so I care about him, but i can't fix if he is acting like an a**hole so no one wants to hang out with him, like I can't fix that for him he has to fix that for himself. Idk a few years back when I was being a drunk PTSD monster my sister was not hanging out with me because I was behaving in a way that was not fun to hang out with. So idk same thing my brothers got to get it together and quit being dumb and overreactive about everything and idk neither me or my sister can fix that for him....he has to get it together by himself just like I had to, even more so because he wont ever listen to anyone like he and his attitude it insists that he always makes himself learn the hard way, but then he wont take any advice about things. Makes me feel bad cause like life might be easier for him if he'd ever take advice or listen to people but he refuses to.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 18 Apr 2025, 1:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

It sounds like he's a bit of a brat, so it's probably better that people who love him correct him rather than strangers.

Damn maybe that is right, uhh I just feel like I am going to have to be the first one to talk to him about it, because idk I guess I am the one he is least hostile at the moment, but sometimes am worried if I enabled him as a child or whatever, cause I was the older sister and did try to protect him sometimes.

I don't think you can blame yourself too much for whatever you did or didn't do as a child, given that you were a child.

But, you're likely right that someone will need to talk to him and that you're likely the best candidate. Hopefully he can take it, but if he throws a tantrum that would probably only reinforce that he needs correction rather than enabling.

True, idk I moved quite a while away and heard he like got his GED and was going to college so I thought maybe he was doing better and mellowing out on things.....but apparently not if my sister doesn't want him at the baby shower cause she is worried he'll make it about him. Lol and I am trying to think about how I can lightly tell my brother that he might be a narcissist and needs to get some help for that. Cause yeah I think that is what it might be...like he is dyslexic and has ADHD, but also my boyfriend thinks he might also have autism and now we both think he might have actual narcissistic PD as well(which idk both my mom and dad seem to have features of it). But that's what I mean I might have to be the one who tells him me and the rest of the family are concerned that he's a narcissist but idk if he would go the direction of then trying to get help for it or if he'd just get all pissed off and throw a fit about it. Cause idk my sister and everyone would probably be more willing to hang out with him if he'd at least admit he has some issues he's working on. But idk he just has no humbleness, he tries to act like some kind of elf lord even when its not quite the right context for it...idk, and well it just gets to be too much for some events but idk if he can take criticism or suggestions to do it at a different time without getting upset...its just like at times he has no chill whatsoever and its hard to predict when he will be chill or what will set him off to throw a bit of a fit and then draw all the attention to himself.

Idk I guess that does kind of sound like a brat...lol. But then how do you cure a brat from being a brat?

Sodium nitrate, saltpetre, maybe some smoke.