There have been times when me and Chris, my mum's partner will argue with one another. He tells me time and again that he has to work six days a week and has to get the shopping and do the dinner at times and that I need to try and show a bit more empathy for other people sometimes even if I'm not in a good mood.
A while ago me and him argued about doing things for other people and helping out sometimes and tried to get me back into learning to make meals and make the dinner, but there were times when I got defensive because when cutting vegetables with the knife for example, I would not be using the knife properly to cut it and when he would try and show me, It would come across like I'm an infant who doesn't know how to do it and would become upset myself because I don't know how to do something and may come across like I don't want to be lectured to because I want to do it myself even though cooking isn't my strength. He has told me before that one day I will have to do things on my own and that if I want to do things on my own which includes cooking then I have to do it because we have to do it whether we want to or not because otherwise we'll starve. He has as well, well how would you feel if I came home and didn't feel like wanting to make dinner, you wouldn't like it would you ? He also feels that when I become defensive, that he makes out as though he thinks I'm the enemy and that he lives here too. I seem to feel like he isn't the person I once knew 10 or more years ago, laughing, joking, etc. I don't know if its because since I started working in a paid job in 2016 and started living with him and mum so that I am close to work, that he has got used to me, and still struggles as well in living with me as well as mum.
I do remember once after one argument, I helped in making the dinner, and then in the following days, I came home just as he came home from work and would set the table, ask if he needed a hand and would help again making some of the food but then gradually I would have my bad days again and I would end up not always assisting him again and would come in through the front door and go and stay upstairs. Sometimes I find it hard to be eager to want to help if he comes across as moody and tired because he too had a long day of work and has to do the dinner because he has to. My mum tells me again that he just gets tired and has been doing a lot of days of work. But if he doesn't seem happy when he comes home, it makes me feel not wanting to assist, its a bit like with my sister, she would be upset about something and it doesn't make me comfortable being in someone's space if they come across that way.
19 Aug 2023, 4:18 pm
