My Mind's f****d Up

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...And I have no idea why.

Maybe it's because of the thought of going back to school for one last year in 2 weeks time.

That's not really bothering me though.

But recently, I've been on the internet and I show all the symptons of Adolescent Depression, and I think It'll sink lower, as I've been suffering from paranoid and delusional thoughts that random people on the street will verbally attack me and that people who bully me at school will persist outside of school as well.

I don't even know why, as I think to myself, strangers don't know me, and I live too far away for bullies to come after me.

I also just want to shut down and isolate myself from the world as well and stick my Vs up to the friends I've got, even though they've done f**k all wrong.

I've also been getting slight manic twitches and fear that if I don't do something about it I might sink to BiPolar levels.

When I mean "twitches" I mean I suddenly have a sense of retardation + suddenly go all silly and stupid, and at times can go very happy (round about the night time) and have known to raise my voice and scream a little.

I feel so confused, and as the title of the topic suggests f****d up.

I'm on Prozac, and there's not much progress anyway, and (as adolescence goes) don't know how to act, feel, or that s**t around people anymore.

If I be happy, people are sad and vice versa.

I also fear that when I recover from all this, people will suffer from depression themselves.

Help? Advice? Anything??!

I felt the same way for a good year after I finished high school. For me, the twitches and voice raisings were caused my extreme self-consciousness, the racing mind asking me "What now? Do this! No, do that!" I also felt that people would verbally abuse me, beat me up, continue the taunting outside of school, screw up my reputation for the rest of my life, rape me, kill me, trick me, make a fool of me, force me to do stuff I didn't want to do, act spiteful or hateful or disgusted towards me... the list goes on.


I think a diagnosis of social anxiety is a possibility for you (and me, but not nearly as much now).

Thanks for that Ana54.

I've been reading up about Mania, and it is one of the possible side effects of taking Prozac.

Maybe that's why I've had this recent Mania mood.