Am I the only one who doesn't know how something works

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I can name a number of things I can do and know how to do it some of which I can do without the need to ask for help such as hoovering, cleaning, ironing, washing clothes, driving a car, washing a car (by hand), putting petrol in the car, making my own appointments (without a parent) with the doctor, dentist, therapist etc.

But for some reason I seem to think I see other people doing things which I may not have done yet and think they are more ''grown up'' than I am because they know how to do it. Some of these things include doing other things with a car other than just driving it which includes getting sent to a garage for repairs, MOT, washed by other people or repairing it yourself and putting the right coolant and signing out the paperwork and making the phone calls to arrange it. (These are things I have done with the help of parents and not by myself). I remember a year ago on our way back from a day out, the tyre burst on the road and it wasn't me but my mum and sister who made the calls for a repair truck to pick us up and replace our burst tyre. About six months later, I went over a pot hole which I was unable to avoid which burst a tyre again but luckily I wasn't far away from my dad's house so I calmly pulled the car over and phoned him up about the situation and he turned up with a spare wheel and managed to get back home safely.

Other things include things which are just for leisure such as going out and buying a nice suit for an occasion like a wedding on your own and knowing what is right for you without always turning to the parents or other family for assistance and opinions of what they thought about the suit I chose. When I went out to find a suit for my uncle's wedding, I went with my dad and stepmum and I felt like the only one in their who had less of an idea than my dad or any of the men of all ages in that shop going in and finding the ideal suit and trousers for them and we spent ages in there and I was exhausted after arguing to and fro about what was good for the wedding and what was not.

Other things may include games such as if I were to go to a casino or something which I am unlikely to go to but say I went with family and friends for an occasion. I seemed to think they know how to gamble and play cards and roulette without even being an expert on how it works and I am the only one puzzled. It reminds me of being like the guy in the film Rain Man. I know it sounds absurd to say that it makes it like I am ''less grown up'' if I am not doing the things my peers are doing because I misunderstand them but that's how it feels. I don't know if that is because I was not a club-going person and have less experience in it as some of these clubs that young people go to may have roulette games and arcades which I have almost never played.

Not at all. No one knows how to do any of these things until they know. At some point they'd never done it either and were either taught or figured it out themselves.

I don't think it makes a person less 'grown up'. It does make them more dependent on others.

We all have different abilities when it comes to practical stuff - having ASD will have some impact on that, for some it will be great and they can't expect to be able to do this stuff for themselves. For others it's less of a hindrance.

I don't know how much it impacts you.

But I do know that if you never try, you never learn. And you can learn that you need help with these things, which may or may not be true.

Question: when your Dad came with a spare tyre did he change it for you? Or did he show you how to change it yourself?

I believe you are in your early to mid 30's? If so, and if you cannot

do your own car repairs
play or understand casino games

then you are hardly alone. However, you ought to be able to

bring your car to a car wash
replace a flat tire with a spare
call roadside assistance to change your tire
buy a suit.

I'm terrified of carwashes if I have to be the driver.
I can never get my car on the track thing using those mirrors.
I got stuck a few times as a teenager.
People behind me were honking but I couldn't leave.
It was a nightmare.

I don't mind going through as a passenger but I'll never try it again driving.
My car stays filthy until someone takes it to the carwash for me.

I've never changed a tire either.

Have I called Roadside? Of course. Many times. Even when my transmission died.
I'm afraid of car mechanic places because I don't understand anything.
I always think I'll get ripped off.

I found a place where they do valet pick up and get the car from my house.
Then they return it.
I don't have to stand there in the garage talking to the workers or looking dumb.

There are work-arounds for most intimidating things.

My partner was on disability and stayed home as a housewife. She taught the neighbors on either side of us how to do stuff to maintain their home.
I had a friend who got married and adopted a kid. They said that there was a ton of stuff they didn't know how to do either when they moved into their new home. One was a really smart engineer who made a lot of money. His wife was a librarian!

There are a lot of things I can't do or find difficult. They are not as specific as the things you mentioned, but the reason I have a hard time with the things I find difficult might be part of the reason you are having a hard time too.

For instance, it's not completely impossible for me to call someone to make an appointment to have something repaired, but I dread it and often can't bring myself to do it. Other people make me uncomfortable, and I never know, when I am going to be talking to someone on the phone, if they might say something unexpected and I won't know how to respond. So I just avoid it and put it off. People have told me it's anxiety, but it's more specific than that, it's an actual missing skill of navigating a conversation. I'm not sure if it can be learned. I just muddle through. Maybe you can do the same, or just don't worry about asking for help when you need it.

I remember a tweet put out by Roman Kemp, the son of Martin Kemp who took a photo of an empty washing machine slot to put conditioner into and said he is 29 and doesn't understand what goes in which slot for the washing. That confuses me as well. I don't know if this is some ''millennial'' thing and that some people say we ''lack essential skills''.

A lot of the things you mentioned isn't too hard to learn though with a fairly minimal bit of practice. I used to have my parents full the car up for me but once they refused I started doing it myself. You would probably be surprised with what you could do.

Generally speaking, they try to make things easy for people. Most garages make the process fairly simple and it's surprising how easy DIY coolant and oil changes are by yourself. I only needed to change a tyre once by the road and it's one of those things that's again made simple. I wouldn't be able to do it now as they gun up the bolts too tight for the awful wrench that comes in the boot....I just have a tyre foam can in the car now, they're good and you should get one.

Clothes shopping is my weakness too. I'm utterly hopeless at it or any shopping in general. My main problem is that I jump all over the shop and walk past what I need over and over again.