Grief with AS
My 23-year-old child died 6 weeks ago in bed. (Unknown causes, but possibly intentional or reckless). I have a great husband and a surviving 25-year-old son. I have a reasonably accommodating job. My family is supportive, and I have an army of friends and a great church.
What I don't have is a lot of stories from parents with AS. There don't seem to be books written for people with autism who are dealing with grief. (And really, some of the graphics and web pages are idiotic.) I'm struggling to figure out why I can't focus. Why writing the thank-you notes seems to be impossible. (Hint: "you're grieving" is not a helpful answer.)
I'm the person who has always been able to buckle down and get it done, whatever the "it" is. (I have a freaking Ph.D. in engineering for heaven's sake.) But it feels like I'm falling farther and farther behind. I cannot focus. Even filling out the most basic forms at work seems like climbing Everest. I like having my email inbox in the single-digits and it's gone on to the second page....
Do any of you have resources you could share that helped you figure out how to process terrible situations?
Time .........and absolute no pressure if you can help it .In the short term...stoicism in the long run ...lots of crying if you can find time and place and one supportive person at least to lean on and confide without judgement to...?
Things will be very obnoxious as it aggravates any little aspie symptoms you have had in the past .. Even ones you might have over looked.. Severe emotional stress for Aspies can be physically disabling , If you do not allow for some kind of recovery . Aspies might slump into a long term depression, Its almost unavoidable with death of close people.Think being charitable to your own psyche .. What ever form that takes . Eventually maybe stiocism will take hold .I believe it is almost an impossible situation.But living through it . Someday ??. might put you in a position to help someone down the road. Regardless of Whatever, obviously it was his time to go elsewhere..If you have any spiritual beliefs or old teachings you learned at some point. It would be a good time to mentally try to lean on them.
Be kind, be careful , with yourself Aspies tend to die from accidental stuff historically. From what i had read repeatedly.
Sorry to hear this has happened to you . (This response is only based on my own personal experiences)
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Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
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