Realization

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I was thinking a bit about why it is seem to be hard to understand myself as well people understanding me. Few people understand me because I opened up to them and talked to them as a neurotypical person though I am not a neurotypical person. Instead, I am aspie. It is strange that some people are willing to try to understanding me sometime while others sometimes chose not to. I do pity those people who chose not to try to understand but they will also come to the same feeling eventually as well thus how some things are learned in the cycle of life. My feelings are even difficult to understand due in truth I have hard to expressing my emotions most of time. Even I say things that might be a joke to me but are offense to other people. There were things that have scared people off from me and may be those friendships and bonds will never be the same again.
I wrote this note to opened up to people more than ever before. It was a realization of myself that I grown in a way to be more a neurotypical than an aspie. Though I accepted my existence as an aspie, it does not mean that I am destined to be an aspie forever. I have learned from past incidents in life to be used in the future and this realization is one of the lessons I learned. There is more to gained from learning than knowledge itself.

I can relate to that, just about no one understands me and a lot of the time its hard for me to understand myself! But then I remind myself, "oh yea, Im an aspie". Since Ive been posting on the forums Ive been feeling better about how I am, but it still hurts.

Me too; I feel more NT a lot... I only remembered recently about this site and all that. A lot of my NT traits are so extreme that my mother says it's Aspie... confusing.

I'm regaining confidence inside myself from that realization.

It took me a while to the thought to come to me.