Trying to Understand...

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I don't know who I am any more...

I don't know what caused my "laziness"(since everyone insists on calling it that). I grew up with my grandma and she "babied" me constantly since then. If she needs a chore done, she always tried to do it herself before coming to me. She never let me go with my friends outside of the front/backyard(I'll get kidnapped!). She never encouraged me to get a job or stay in school. It's not her fault, because my grandfather threatened to beat her up when he was alive, ever since I was a baby.

And here I am, 26 years old. Dropped out of school at 18(9th grade >.>), NEVER had a job, is always irritable when I'm not "allowed" to do a chore. But I'm always depressed because EVERYONE is better than me(inferiority complex?), I'm not motivated enough to do much of anything, yet the thing I want most right now is to move across country to marry my fiancee...

I probably missed a few details, but oh well. Am I lazy? Is there something wrong with me? Do I just need to get my ass kicked for motivation?

Inattention is the likely problem. ADHD meds would likely help.

Wow your getting married? Thats awesome man good luck.

I don't have circumstances as bad as yours, but I can tell you that, no, you're not lazy, but you have been held back from what you could do.

I suggest going to a workforce center and see what you can do to get some adult education lined up, or try for your GED. I'm homeschooled and I got 99th on everything except writing the silly essay.

Try to get things lined up for your future education, DON'T accept fast food or retail jobs, ever. They'll waste your time and your life. Try to get as much done as possible, if you don't you're going to have an awful time in the future. Aim for college and get into a field where there are jobs.

I'm still living with my parents, after attempting to survive on my own having two jobs working 6-7 days a week 14 hours a day. Even working all that much at Wal-Mart and McDonald's I couldn't afford it. Don't go for crap jobs whatever you may do. Try warehouses or factories to start, but go to college and get a real job. That's what I plan to do anyway. I hope this helps.

Ben.

IF I can move across-country <.<



Well I can afford to move, but I won't have a roommate at first or anything. And I plan to move as soon as I get my driver's license back(couldn't motivate myself to do that), and I need to renew my prescription for glasses before I get my license(can't see to drive without them <.<). What do you guys suggest I do before moving?

Seems like every step I need to take is a big one...

Kazami, it looks like your grandmother may suffer from PTSD; maybe she would really benefit from some counseling. Also maybe you would benefit from an antidepressant, just for awhile. Please post more in this thread whenever there's an update or you feel depressed about something like this, or PM me; I love listening to people and when someone is depressed I NEED to be there for them or at least offer to be. Please do something immediately; never mind the lost time, you WILL make up for it. Why cna't you move in with your fiance? You could always visit your grandmother, or the two of you can live with her, or she can live or stay with you for a while... I dunno you and your circumstances though.

Well my fiancee is a college grad, currently going to a "credentialing" program(which her family is funding) so she can become a teacher. She's also an office lady and takes TaeKwanDo(she's pretty intimidating, but that's beside the point). But the reason she can't move in yet is because she's VERY subservient, and thinks that her parents might hate me(of couse I can't blame them, I'm a total loser), and she don't want her parents and I to be at odds with each other. She even thinks that if she decides to get married to me before they get to know me, they'll cut off her funding for the credentialing program. So she's pretty much insistant on staying home till everything's worked out.

And yeah, I should just go try to do SOMETHING to help, regardless of the unknown or how paranoid I am that i'll screw it up. Life is about risks and all...

Is that what you think you need?

Btw, if you don't know who you are, then getting married is a really, really bad idea.

I guess I should update my situation as suggested.

I finally got to go out and get an eye exam(after months of trying <.<). Now after I pick up my glasses, I can find out about a job and get my driver's license back.

I don't know...

Why is that?

because you don't know what you want..

I know exactly what I want though.