Looking Gift Horses In The Mouth

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I often wondered what life would be like if I caught a serious break. Not break as in not having Lou Gehrig's Disease; I'm talking something rare that came out of the blue. Now I know what it's like-confusing as all hell. Basically, the deal here is that, since I had five years of a sh***y childhood, I'm getting free college. That's right, roughly $100,000 dollars of education that wasn't getting paid for in any other way, and suddenly it's gone. I can go to college, I can get a better job, there are some limitations(stay in-state), but it's free college! I was thrilled, and I still am. The prospect of free college is damn impressive. But now my mind is wandering. There are three organizations primarily at work here; the government, the education system, and the social services system. All three of those systems are incompetant, mediocre, and have made my life a living hell at times. Now, from what I've been told, they've all suddenly collaborated to give me a massive break after years of neglect and abuse. Three entities that range from moronic to evil are all suddenly doing a random good deed? This is unlikely beyond all reason, so I tried to figure out why. My first theory is that, since they didn't catch this for five years despite ample opportunity, that it must be some sort of bribe to keep me on their side. Then someone suggested that I'm having some debt paid off, which made sense on some levels, but raised a host of ethical and moral dillemas, primarily, "My childhood is only worth $20,000 dollars a year", and "How did they calculate this?" So that was an issue. Then I started to wonder about another possibility, that they were trying to appease me to make sure that I didn't snap. So, in summary, I have no idea what's going on, or why I'm suddenly in good luck, or exactly what sort of moral and ethical laws have been shattered. Central to this is the idea that I'm being rewarded for being in misery. I'm so confused.

We all had sh***y childhoods how come we didnt get free college?
Or did I skip a lot of details in your posts? Probably lol.

That is how they recruit for their own club. You can make of this what you wish, but you have to accept the fact that this will be very difficult for you, and you will have to stick with it and find some principles and stick with them.

This also gives them a massive stick to hit you with if you misbehave, so you need to learn how to swim with sharks.

I met this guy once that was a lot like me, but his folks didn't know what to do with him and so they gave him to the Marine Corps ( his dad was some big brass, he said) at 14 and now at 20 he programs and calibrates all the trajectories for the long range artillery. He is stationed out of San Diego and goes over to Iraq perhaps twice a year to do his thing.
When I met him I actually pounded on the door of his truck cab and asked him to help me move my stuff out of a house and into a storage unit. I just spotted the truck on the street and was going to leave a note under the washer blade but he was in there. he was going to run off with me and live in the mountains behind Ashland,Or, but after I convinced him I really WAS 40 years his senior he saw the sense of it, to not follow me into the mountains. But he has an open invitation.

They paid for his schooling and stuff, but he is like tied to the system. He knows he owes more than the money they spent on his education, and he knows he is owned by that and because of what he does for them. he is sorta resigned to it, actually. I got a card from him around Christmas time, he was going back to 'the hot place' and 'doing his thing' again.

good luck out there, Username88.

Sounds like you're way over budget on trying to analyze the system's motives. Maybe, just maybe, the system is working correctly and doing the right thing. $100,000 isn't a lot of money, especially for the system. I know it's tough to suddenly have to refocus yourself from living with unjust neglect to what appears to be very generous attention, but I'm sure you'll cope. Remember you could be going the other way!
Why don't you invest some time thinking about college---the future. All that is past is unchangable, and there is nothing you can do about it; in fact you probably won't understand all this clearly until you're older.

BTW Congradulations, education is the best producing, most secure, investment out there.

I've invested some time in looking into this, but I find it so difficult to envision three systems that generally work poorly and make life miserable suddenly woke up at the same time to do something good. Right now, I can go to one of 11 state universities. I've ruled out eight of those(FSU-Doak-Campbell Stadium with a classroom attached USF-Sciences school, and I'm more of a liberal arts type, UCF-More of a commuter school, and not that good UNF-Commuter school extreme UWF-Pensecola. Enough said. Florida Gulf Coast-Too young, but I might consider it if it improves. FA&M-Band school, sorry New College-Bad Family History). The three I'm considering are FIU, Florida Atlantic, and maybe UF, although I'm sketchy on that one because it's so big. FIU is supposed to be an excellent college, although I'm going to look further into that, because I've seen and heard otherwise(Miami-FIU brawl anyone? Miami campus anyone?). Florida Atlantic I haven't looked into much beyond not immediately ruling it out. And, like I said, UF is a good school that I consider a last resort option, because it's a massive school and I'm not sure how well I would do in that sort of environment.

Always look a gift horse in the mouth.