I need my joy and curiosity back

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I became less joyful and more numb with growing up.

I used tons of medications in the past, prescribed by so called doctors. Because I was anxious and uneasy. But at least i was feeling alive. After so called treatment i lost interest in anything about life.

When i look back in past i see many errors but it was society and others, i was just a kid who had no idea about life.