Feeling disconnected

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My family lives in Libya, while I have been in the US since 2003. I am not a Libyan citizen and do not have any form of legal residency. While I miss my family, we have very large conflicts and disconnected. While I am an atheist, my family is Muslim. And my mother and siblings are extremely homophobic and transphobic.

I have rarely seen any of my family in the past two decades. The last time I saw any of them was when my sister and her family were in the US in 2016. I occasionally talk with my nieces online. But every time I tried to talk to my mother, all she did was go on transphobic rants that me go no contact.

In the past 20 years, I've had 3 cousins die. My sisters got married and started families and I barely know them. When my niece asked me how old she I couldn't remember. My nieces and nephews are part Palestinian; but despite this, I've been so overwhelmed by my personal struggles that I've turned a blind eye to the Genocide in Gaza.