What's the point?

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All my life is is working myself every day to the point of exhaustion, to the point where I have no energy to do anything but recuperate for the next day. The same cycle that never ends. I never have the energy for hobbies, exercise, walks, socializing, or doing anything I enjoy. I'm just a f***ing machine. And for what?! Just so I can barely make enough money to survive to the next paycheck? I never make enough to save for the future or even for emergencies. Why do I even bother. This is no way to live. Any way out of this cycle I'm trapped in requires either money, time, or skills I do not have and cannot acquire. I'm in my 40s, and nothing has ever gotten better for me. I fail to see how existing like this is better than just being dead. At least then I'd have peace.

I'm not in your same situation but I have chronic fatigue (ME/CFS) so I also spend most of my life just recuperating and being too exhausted to do anything. There are so many things I would do if I could. I don't have the answer but the way I've dealt with it is to just try to accept my situation and be kind of Zen about it.

Would it be possible for you to get a less taxing job?

This is kind of the whole point of Existentialism and Thrownness. We are thrown into a life that we didn't choose and have to try to make sense of it. The futility of existence.

Black Hand was right!