Trigger warning for sexual assault.
I'm over 40, and I've never attracted a woman. I had a girlfriend once, she was a narcissist only interested in finding someone vulnerable she could take advantage of. She psychologically abused me for two years then tossed me aside. And no other has ever been attracted to me at any point in the 15+ years since then.
I watched as everyone around me; everyone I went to college with, my co-workers, the people I grew up with, all my brothers and sisters, all were dating and getting married and starting families decades ago. But never me. Nobody stays consistently single as long as I have unless there's something wrong with them; unless they're an unlovable freak.
I was abused by my aforementioned ex. I was beaten by my father. I've been bullied throughout my life.
When I was in elementary school, I was raped by my stepfather's cousin. A year later I was raped by another kid in school. A man forced himself on me when I was 17. I remember, one time, my older cousin took candy from me and stuck it in his pocket. He had me reach into his pocket, where I felt something. I didn't know what it was at the time, but realized years later it was his erect pens. Clearly, I never had trouble attracting people who want to take advantage of me and abuse me. But never a woman. No woman has ever been attracted to me or wanted to be with me, because I'm a goddamned freak.
And it actually makes perfect sense: we all know that women are attracted to strong men, while predators always target the weak.
02 May 2025, 12:55 am
