What’s on your mind? The Haven version.

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Joined: 21 Apr 2008
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31 Jul 2024, 10:34 pm

Too much on my mind. And almost none of it is positive. I'm in the worst place I've ever been in my life, on the verge of losing everything, and I don't know how to even begin to cope with it. Too depressed to think rationally.

So I'm just trying to find new ways to distract my brain from cyclical thinking, and hoping the problems will go away. Even though I know they won't :mrgreen:

Also it's that time of year where I start having flashbacks to my initial Long Covid symptoms, so being reminded of that overwhelming sense of dread does not help matters one bit.

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IsabellaLinton
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31 Jul 2024, 10:36 pm

Colorado, Baby!

:heart:

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TwilightPrincess
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31 Jul 2024, 10:46 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:

Also it's that time of year where I start having flashbacks to my initial Long Covid symptoms, so being reminded of that overwhelming sense of dread does not help matters one bit.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re in such a tough place. I hope things start improving for you soon.

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“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” – Bilbo and Twilight

Graves Knight
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31 Jul 2024, 10:55 pm

What's on my mind? Plenty. Too much in fact, but here are the main things.
1) A big financial solution to most of my problems
2) Politics this year for the US is bloody wild.
3) I've worked with my ex-girlfriend for a year now
4) Robert Downey Jr. is... Dr. Doom? Very mixed on that
5) Development for my second book
6) Should I get back into gaming
7) Will that girl text me more or leave me on read?
8 Hope I don't run into another Holy Witch

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SabbraCadabra
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31 Jul 2024, 11:30 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

I’m sorry to hear that you’re in such a tough place. I hope things start improving for you soon.

Thanks, me too...but I don't see how I can possibly do any of this on my own. I have a friend or two who might be able to help if I pray hard enough, but even if they did, SOMEONE would have to make some major sacrifices, and I can't expect anyone else to do that for me.

...also everyone in the house is sick right now, so that's a lot of fun...just crossing my fingers that I don't catch it...

Hope you are well.

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IsabellaLinton
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31 Jul 2024, 11:35 pm

It's nice to see you again Sabbra! ^

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TwilightPrincess
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31 Jul 2024, 11:47 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:

TwilightPrincess wrote:

I’m sorry to hear that you’re in such a tough place. I hope things start improving for you soon.

I’ve been struggling in my own way, too, and I just don’t know what to do at this point.

Hopefully, someone will be able to help you. It’s tough feeling like you’re stuck with few options. When it’s in my power to do so, I’m usually more than willing to make sacrifices for friends, so maybe you’ll find the help that you need.

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“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” – Bilbo and Twilight

Carbonhalo
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31 Jul 2024, 11:52 pm

I don't know why ILs avatar suddenly shot into focus, but I can now see it's hair and not a cat.

If anyone wondered why I've been invisible for years and suddenly started haemorrhaging posts.
My partner is interstate looking after frail parents and i only have the dogs to talk to.
Walk/food/toilet/let me under the damned covers is hardly stimulating conversation.

You guys (WP), however, are both entertaining, informative and....tolerant of my foibles.
(I don't recall ever having typed the word "foibles" before. It's jangling my brain)

IsabellaLinton
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01 Aug 2024, 12:11 am

Carbonhalo wrote:

I don't know why ILs avatar suddenly shot into focus, but I can now see it's hair and not a cat.

MEOW!

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Edna3362
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01 Aug 2024, 10:07 am

In which I want to contort into something I'm not but what I really want to be.

Not for survival, not for emotional longing, not for envy, not for some sold out belief in pursue of happiness or what humans are ought to, nor to make up for any deficit.

But to make a point about myself and my existence.
Contrasts, exposure. Data.

That the statement of "nothing is permanent but change" is truer than ever.

Yet the changes are willfully and consciously chosen by myself.
Not by accident and in out of my control, not by some other party, and definately not from coming from a generational or societal echo.

Yes.
Prideful, egocentric. Arrogant.

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Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (ⁿ).

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CockneyRebel
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02 Aug 2024, 7:40 pm

One of my favourite workers at my clubhouse had her last day today. I'm going to miss her.

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shortfatbalduglyman
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02 Aug 2024, 10:32 pm

Since Monday my bowel movements have gotten so strained and hard that I am afraid of intestinal blockage and complications, just like Elvis

Costs skyrocketing since Coronavirus. Income not increasing in proportion. Paranoid of being homeless and s**t

Expand comfort zone

Plenty of precious lil "people" have zero job skills, not authorized to work in the country, don't speak English, no high school diploma, convicted felons, still earn enough $$ for room and board and kids and health insurance and car and et cetera. How do they do it?

One of my coworkers said he just got back from a three week vacation in Germany. He only earns minimum wage just like me. How does he afford to go on vacation?

funeralxempire
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02 Aug 2024, 10:42 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:

Since Monday my bowel movements have gotten so strained and hard that I am afraid of intestinal blockage and complications, just like Elvis

Does increasing your fibre intake help at all?

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SabbraCadabra
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03 Aug 2024, 10:46 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:

It's nice to see you again Sabbra! ^

I still lurk now and then, but there's not a lot going on here anymore

TwilightPrincess wrote:

I’ve been struggling in my own way, too, and I just don’t know what to do at this point.

Same. I'm just doing the healthy thing of trying to ignore the problem and pretending it'll all go away

I was feeling hopeful for a little while, and then things started slipping backwards, and it's hard to make positive changes when I just want to curl up in a ball for the rest of the day.

I did have the perfect game to distract myself with, but now I need to find a new one...none of them quite fit the bill, so I'm just kind of settling on Mario Kart for the time being (mostly 8 and a little 6).

TwilightPrincess wrote:

When it’s in my power to do so, I’m usually more than willing to make sacrifices for friends, so maybe you’ll find the help that you need.

I don't know, it's a pretty big ask...
And that's only IF they are willing to help. One friend might be slightly more likely to help, but seems content with their own mess right now (and is going through a heavy grieving process). The other friend is less reliable, not exactly a sure bet and not the best fit, but would probably appreciate getting out of their mess.

Every day I kind of regret not looking into getting on disability years ago. Every time I try to look now, I get overwhelmed...I've never been good with that sort of thing, my mom always handled all the paperwork and phone calls for me...
There's probably a caseworker or something somewhere I can get to help...
But I know, no matter what, it's not a quick process at all. But I can't keep putting it off.
Oof.

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TwilightPrincess
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03 Aug 2024, 5:44 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:

TwilightPrincess wrote:

I’ve been struggling in my own way, too, and I just don’t know what to do at this point.

Same. I'm just doing the healthy thing of trying to ignore the problem and pretending it'll all go away

I was feeling hopeful for a little while, and then things started slipping backwards, and it's hard to make positive changes when I just want to curl up in a ball for the rest of the day.

Yeah, I can certainly relate to that. That’s kind of where I’ve been lately, too.

SabbraCadabra wrote:

I did have the perfect game to distract myself with, but now I need to find a new one...none of them quite fit the bill, so I'm just kind of settling on Mario Kart for the time being (mostly 8 and a little 6).

I wish it didn’t take so long for them to come out with new Zelda games. I’m currently in-between games for the most part. Nothing is really sparking my interest. I’m thinking about replaying Twilight Princess with my son, but I don’t even own a copy anymore. I’m just now realizing how wrong that is. It’s time to make that a priority.

SabbraCadabra wrote:

TwilightPrincess wrote:

When it’s in my power to do so, I’m usually more than willing to make sacrifices for friends, so maybe you’ll find the help that you need.

I hope it’ll work out with one of them. It seems like folks on the spectrum often don’t have a big enough support system which makes it especially difficult when you need…support.

SabbraCadabra wrote:

Every day I kind of regret not looking into getting on disability years ago. Every time I try to look now, I get overwhelmed...I've never been good with that sort of thing, my mom always handled all the paperwork and phone calls for me...
There's probably a caseworker or something somewhere I can get to help...
But I know, no matter what, it's not a quick process at all. But I can't keep putting it off.
Oof.

I had a caseworker when I applied for disability which certainly helped. I was rejected, but the caseworker was still helpful, especially as far as letting me know what else I was eligible for and stuff like that at a time when I was really struggling. It’s probably something worth checking into.

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“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” – Bilbo and Twilight

SabbraCadabra
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04 Aug 2024, 10:08 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

Well, there's a new Zelda coming pretty soon!

I've got plenty of games right now, but none of them are quite scratching the same itch that LEGO City Undercover did. It just had the perfect blend of all the right elements, for me and the kid.
At least with Mario Kart it's something we can play two-player, but I think he'd rather just drive around aimlessly rather than compete. It doesn't keep his interest very long.

Dang, I've got three copies of TP...somewhere...
One on GC, the remake on the WiiU, and we used to have it on Wii but I have no idea where it went.

I do still need to finish the Hyrule Warriors games...
And maybe Crossbow Training.

...but I have lots of non-Zelda games I need to finish!

TwilightPrincess wrote:

I hope it’ll work out with one of them. It seems like folks on the spectrum often don’t have a big enough support system which makes it especially difficult when you need…support.

Funny thing is, both of them are also on the spectrum, although I don't think one was fully aware of it until we were discussing it a few weeks ago...

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