My own family says I choose to be disabled.

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Tonight was a rough night for me guys.It started with me talking with my parents about getting a game plan for me getting married and my government benefits and everything.Like maybe legally fighting for my right to get married to a woman I will love in the future.They said that I will just have to get a job and make a living and afford my medical bills but I get about 10,000 dollars a month in medical bills that the government pays for and I would lose that if I get married.I told them that its impossible for me because I am disabled and unemployable.They told me I am choosing this and I have made myself way more disabled and that I am playing the victim.

They are still stuck believing I can do anything I want and that I am choosing to be lazy and and that I am choosing to be disabled and they think I am a bum.My own parents in essence dont believe I am really disabled and they gaslight me and they wont accept that I am disabled and my autism keeps from ever living the American Dream.Quite some time ago I had a talk with my cousin who married to a big time oil baron and they live a billionaire lifestyle while I am stuck in utter poverty and I told her that I cant get a good job and earn a living wage because I am disabled and she gaslit me saying I could do anything I wanted.My cousin has gone on private jets all the time to California and New York but she has no time for me.I think she has owned a private jet or still owns one.My own parents gaslight me and say that I am not poor and that I am not living paycheck-to-paycheck.


After I told my mom and dad its impossible for me to get a good job if I am married I said the church of Christ would provide for me in my dire poverty and pay for my healthcare costs because otherwise I would be bankrupt if I got married if I lose coverage.They said the church would not take care of me in my povertyI read in the Bible that the church is supposed to take care of its own poor but they are too busy teaching their members to be multi-millionaires to care about the poor.



Also in the Bible it says if you cared for the least of these you cared for Jesus am I am one of the least of these in economic status at my church.I have been homeless 20 times and elders have left me homeless on the street with nowhere to go twice.I will never trust any church again because I thought they took care of their poor but they dont.

My teachers said if I got a degree any degree I would be able to live the American Dream but it was all a lie.I thought the church of Christ was supposed to be a family that took care of its own poor but I was mistaken..My church are a bunch of hypocrites because they wont sell everything they own and give to the poor and to the church.I am the only member there who is willing to do just that but my parents wont ever let me.

I'm sorry they're so lacking in understanding. It seems really stupid to insist someone would choose to be disabled.

For Christians they're very consistently unChrist-like.

Sweet Pea hugs

If the government pays your medical bills, that says you qualify as disabled. In my opinion. I'm sorry your family have their response to your situation.

Thank you.

I just don't understand people like this. Given how hard disability is to get for a lot of people, the fact that you were approved for and are on it along with the government paying your medical bills even just proves that you are, in fact, disabled. For them to say otherwise and tell you that you are 'choosing to be disabled' when no one chooses to be disabled is very narcissistic and I'd even go as far as to say emotionally abusive.

Hang in there OP, I hope things get better for you soon.

My parents were in denial for a long time that I am disabled. They said the same thing as your parents did many times - that I "choose" to be disabled.

You should try to get legal representation if your parents control financial assets that are rightfully yours, so you can begin to cut ties to your family without having to live in dire poverty.

I agree nobody chooses to be disabled. I am in a similar situation, after years of stress my body has given out and I am unable to work for the time being. My parents use to gaslight me (and still sometimes do) but now they are more accepting because they see how hard I've worked to try to live a normal life. Although my step dad recently said that he is worried that I am letting my sickness get the better of me. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you end up failing anyway. I think failure shouldn't be stigmatized as much as it is these days. Just because you have lost in the game of life doesn't mean you are a bad person or lazy it just means you lost that's all.

A long time ago the government gave mom control of my finances as a condition of getting benefits so I may be stuck with her controlling my finances for a long time maybe even forever.Its called "representative payee".I hate living in dire poverty and being dirt poor but its my lot in life right now maybe until they die.My mom made me "loan" her my life savings so I could get on welfare and she gaslights me and has not even paid back one penny that she owes me.Her and my dad owe me many thousands of dollars but I will only be able to recover my life savings after they die and if I sue the estate.

I feel bad for you. Can't you get a social worker?

I got fired by my social worker for getting a job.I only had my job for a month but he determined I no longer needed him in his opinion so he fired me.Thanks. We may get me a social worker after I move.

Wow your social worker sounds like a real a**hole.

He was a real lousy one.He was always on the phone and standing me up and never showing up all the time.

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you get a better social worker soon.

Thanks if I do it will be after I move.