chris1989 wrote:
I seem to find myself feeling some anxiety about death and dying and I don't know if it's been brought on by the passing of my two grandads, and a colleague from work who died suddenly at 50 and another who had a heart attack in his 30s. It's even reminding me of past experiences by seeing others in my family going through some health issues like my dad had a mini stroke in 2010, my nan had several heart bypass operations and I remember seeing one of my grandads in hospital as a kid when I think he was undergoing an operation for prostate cancer. I knew these things in the past but I can't understand why I'm thinking about them again. I also went for an eye test which was positive and there was nothing wrong but seem to think if you are someone of a certain age and has a number of health appointments to go to, it seems to reinforce this idea that you have lots of things wrong with you. When I asked online before it said that those 60 and over at least one or more than one chronic condition.
Theres a word for that? cause yeah idk even just yesterday for some reason I got to thinking of death and nearly had a bit of a panic attack, I took some valerian root to calm myself down. But yeah sometimes I get stuck in a loop of doom as I know someday, I will die but it's no use to worry about it now, but I can't help it sometimes. I am just 35 too and don't have major health issues, and don't have kids to leave behind(dont want them either) but sometimes it feels like time can fly and I hope my next 30 years don't feel like just 5 years and before I know it I'm deathly ill or whatever.
But weirdly enough I like clothes and things with skeleton/skull prints on them and like to keep skeleton Halloween decorations around the house all year around. But yeah idk ever since I turned 30 I certainly have worried a lot more about that.
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Tis the time to melt the Ice.
21 Dec 2024, 3:51 pm
