feeling surrounded & lost.

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i was born in 2000,

i'm classically considered early Gen-Z but i feel more like a very late Millennial (noting where Millennial stuff ends and where Gen-Z stuff begins is kind of never truly agreed on so as far as i'm concerned, i do count.) and it only kind of gets worse when i talk to people around the same sort of age bracket as me and it's more like i'm talking to someone no older than 16 even if they're bodily the same age as me. i can't even tell if it's intentional or not, anymore? i feel surrounded,

like i'm some kind of weird specter or creature descended from another planet when i start going on about s**t i grew up with as someone who's mind i think prematurely aged due to (...circumstances. my life's not been easy) and also was generally i think around a lot of media centering darker topics. same for when i start behaving in a manner that clocks me sooner as schizoaffective (tbf i'm diagnosed bipolar 1 and a sibling of mine is diagnosed schizophrenic + i've had an alarming number of symptomology matched since i was a kid, ....sooooo) than having anything resembling ADHD (i swear every f****n zoomer has this. concerns me a lot)

subject's relevant, one way or another, i can't really hang out either around kids or people who just start living life out as children for my own reasons, ... i also really do not know how the hell to find people i could get along with who f****n get the world that i came from and stuff that i like and like actually share common threads with me regarding even Background beyond barely and are LESS neotenous/childlike than me instead of MORE childlike than me?... i don't know i guess i'm just complaining about social media's effects on people a gen ahead of me (i could even go on about why stuff like tone indicators ultimately weird me out i have stopped denying it) but also like christ i'm AFFECTED by this stuff! i wish i wasn't. i'm only human

i'm like super lost to be honest i just really do not want to deal with this new-school internet brain s**t anymore. i can't even knock people for being developmentally stunted like i literally am but i'm just exhausted being around people who don't want to get what they can get together and just make it my and everyone else's problem, that s**t was bad enough from my PARENTS i don't need it from people on the damn computer. i already feel 25 years old but my birthday's like 6 months away from now. christ

Only a part of your brain is prematurely ageing...there will be another part already crystallised, which will be stuck that way forever.
Try to enjoy ALL the stuff you like...revel in it...
Persevere through the crap parts, because there WILL be more good times coming.
Dont hate your frozen parts OR your aging parts... They're all a part of you and together they add to more than the sum of your (from some perspectives) delicious whole.

much appreciated, thank you.

the day kinda got worse for me emotionally after, up to this point. i feel like i'd be crying but times i feel emotions that aren't mimed are so very scant, it's scary.

i at least know what to do to feel better so i should, focus on that