What is this?

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I’m “in it” now, please bear with me.
I was sitting in the middle of my sitting room on the floor, which I usually cannot do as I always need something directly behind me in order to cope. For some reason, while I could feel my stress quickly escalating somewhere in the back of my mind/body, I also felt paralysed/unable to deal with the problem.

Then, someone online said something that bothered me (I have a laptop which is always with me), which lurched me into a state of mind that I get to frequently but don’t understand or recognise. I’ve finally got my back to the sofa now but I feel horribly overloaded, my thoughts and feelings are “bottlenecked” and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to form a sentence, I feel very sick and tearful, I feel out of breath and unable to move or blink without welling up. It’s like a state of paralysed panic/confusion, I feel like I can’t move or hear myself. I have sensory issues and right now the computer screen is practically holographic, streaks of light all over it, everything’s moving and flashing.

Wherever these feelings/whatever come from, I find it impossible to connect them with the situation causing them, if there is one. I can never remember what it’s like to feel any way other than how I happen to feel at the present moment, and even though I recognise that fact, right now I feel completely stuck in this state, it feels like chaos and it’s getting worse, I don’t think I can write any more, except to say that if this post is ridiculous, I feel like I’m writing blind, I can’t even hear my own thoughts being played back to me, I’m scared to post. If anyone has any thoughts, similar experiences, anything, please share.

Could it hyper-arousal? maybe combined with panic attack? and maybe the system attempting to save itself by shutting down? i'm guessing, but I have to admit, it doesn't sound strange to me. I wish it was strange but it sounds familiar. Are you getting migraine lights?

I'm really sorry to hear that, wouldn't wish it on anyone. I don't think it can be migraine lights as I don't suffer from migraines?



What is hyper-arousal? I really don't know if it's a panic attack, I find it hard to analyse it.

That episode passed quickly, and considering that I was able to post here at the start of it, or think verbally at all, it definitely wasn't as severe as it can sometimes get. It did get worse for a while after I posted here though - I ended up quite contorted, pushing into a wall and extremely distressed/confused. I have balance/movement problems, and I think pushing into the wall, etc. is probably me trying to balance myself in the confusion, but while it's happening I'm too distressed to analyse what I'm doing.

This thing was at it's worst when I was about 13, I had to leave school around that time because I couldn't cope with being there any more. I'm 18 now and still experience them, but I've been housebound for a couple of years due to stress and other problems, and therefore don't enter into situations which exacerbate the problem (bright/day light, noise, movement, etc), so it would make sense that I don't get them as frequently or as severely now.

When they were at their worst, I would become extremely confused/disorientated, unable to communicate/talk in any way, and often became entirely unable to move as well, which I still don't really understand.



That sounds about right, actually. I wonder if this is what people call "overload" or "shut down".

Last edited by MarchViolets on 29 Aug 2007, 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

have you seen a doctor for your problem? It could either be psychological (panic attacks) or neurological (simple partial seizures).

People who experience simple partial seizures report that they often feel strange, having feelings of deja vu or panic (sometimes the opposite, euphoria), and hear, see, smell, and/or taste things that arn't there. Such as muffled voices, spots of colors, burnt smells, and bad taste in the mouth.

I myself have these seizures where I experince first a creepy feeling in my torso, then a horrible burnt smell, after that I experience terrifying deja vu.

What exactly goes on during an episode (in order, if any)? Plus, if your episodes are significantly imparing your life I recommend seeing your doctor.

Sounds like something to explore with a pro. Panic attack sounded like part of it. I get optical migraines, no pain, just very strange partial blindness. Even though I know what they are and know how long they'll last. It can very easily set off a panic attack. Which only last as long as the migriane, which is about 20 minutes in length.

I Had never reilized till you mentioned it, I do the same with the "openess" of a room. Keep my back against something, usually watching a door. Very blind of me not to have noticed it before. The openness of say a grocery store combine with bad lighting can set off a panic attack as well. I have a simple old fashioned med now that works. I do it on a per needs basis.

I do the same thing, even though I never really noticed.



I definitely do the same thing.

Are you some kind of Hypnotist??